MISCELLANEOUS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2908, 21 July 1882, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A young man who was presented with 11 Queen Annie pen-wipers on Christmas by his lady continues to wipe his pen on his coat-tail, Fogg says he was never baptised, but he went to church where there were a sprinkling of sinners in the congregation and he was one of them. «If I thought I was going, to become grey I know I should die,” exclaimed Miss Springle. When she turned grey she did die, sure enough. Something possessed a mild-looking book agent to put a brick to His coat-tail pocket, and the way a Devonshire- , street broker hnrt his toes on it was simply apologising. , Professor in Hydrostics— “lf yon had purchased a crown of gold and thought part of it was silver, what would you do?” Junior take it back.” "Father” said an inquisitive boy, “ what is meant by close relations ?” ■*» Close relatione, my son,” replied the father,“are relations who never give you a cent.” . ~ _ i Qualifying the Negative—Mrs Smith 1 (emphatically) “Poor Mrs Siren! They say she has been ordered to a warmer climate. Do' you 1 think she will go?” Mrs Brown (Grimly)—“ No, not while she lives.” There are, says the “ Baptist Weekly, several ways of givinga hint, and this is about a delicate one as we have seen Ifttely-t't It is suggested that any church proposing to call (Revi-r —confer, before doing so, with brethren- on bis former fields of labor.” A moment after the explosion at the Jewelllilills last Thursday, a terrified bootblack darted behind a portly market woman for protection, and clutching her skirts, reassuringly cried—“ Don’t stir, Missus, the wust is over. “ Where’s your mail ?” asked a mail rider, as he stopped at a small post office on bis route in the county of Polk, Ga. “Ob, never mind,” said the postmaster, as he polled at his pipe, “there aint but four or five , letters, and we won’t trouble about them to day.” ,