COOL SPRAY.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2798, 13 March 1882, Page 2

COOL SPRAY.

[By P.E.] Of all the seasons, give me Autumn, in New Zealand at least. Nature cep tainly provides us royally with pure air and invigorating sunshine. Crawling down after your day’s work, weary in mind and body, to look out upon the blue sparkling sea, and inhale the life giving breeze that is laden with all that is bracing and healthful, do you not rcllect with some regret that our refinement and progress seem to be carrying us further and further from Nature? We hurry and drive and fret ourselves till the strained ship at length succumbs and wo are gone from the world. In the few intervals of busy life we have sought change and stimulus in heated rooms and from all sorts of unnatural sources instead of going out into the free air of heaven to recreate ourselves. It is a sad mistake, but alas wo seem destined to perpetuate the blunder.

The “ Professors of modern lan. guages” ought to improve the occasion ' in Canterbury. French ought to be I gone into in the drawing-room, and Russ in the kitchen, preparatory to the reception of the HusaianSquadron. While the gay lieutenant murmurs sweet words to Miss Adeline above, the dapper young A.B. may spend his time ashore very pleasantly, enjoying the society of Bridget below. Lovemaking is very charming in whatever language it be made; even the Welsh consonants thrill and vibrate sweetly, when they fall from a lover’s mouth “ Tis sweet to be schooled in a strange tongue, by female eyes and lips”; says Byron, and if wo put the question to our lovely ones, after the squadron has weighed anchor. I daresay they will acknowledge the same as to male eyes and lips, nous verrons !

Messrs Joubert and Twopenny’s Exhibition is not to be a tuppenny affair after all. We ihay confidently look forward to it as likely to he a grand success. But I fancy that we are all agreed that when this one is over, it may he as well if the Exhibition mania goes to sleep for a season, otherwise Exhibitions will lose their attrac; tiveness and no longer bo the success they have been.

The great Patriot and Liberator, the hero of a hundred fields,the lion of Italy, has fallen into a strange obscurity in his old age. Some men seem marked out by fate to re’der grand inestimable services to humanity (whether in the domain of learning, religion, politics, or warfare), while their personal lot is one of privation discomfort, and failure. Looking back a few years we remember' all England prostrate at his feet doing homage to.the patriotic valour that had wrested Italian liberty from the cruel grasp of tyrants. When be landed at any town in England men fought with each other to touch his hand, and women knelt in tears ; and down such groves of homage the leonine soldier had daily to pass. No\V he is fading hilt of mind of everybody, while the Kingdom he fought for is fast regaing the lost glory of ancient Rome.

It is not true , as far as I, know,, that when Mr Denton lectures in Wellington, the Hon. Thos. Dick will take the chair. I only hope, however, that the geologist will be in Wellington during the session. He may be enabled, by dropping into the Council or having a chat, with the Premier, or the Coiohial Secretary, to improve his knowledge of fossils. The . fossils of the great Retrenchment Period (“ strange cold time ”) Will be very interesting to the geologist of the future.

Some of our senatorial lights will deliver lectures on off-nights. A programme has been drawn up for the course: —

1. “ Prosperity and decorum and respept for the opinions of others,” by Mr H, S. Pish.

; 2. “ True Christian Charity,” by Mr Downie Stewart.

3. “The Can-Can,” an essay (with illustrations) by Hon. T. Dick. 4. “Good Temper and Modesty,” by Vincent Pyke. 5. “ Purity of Election,” papers by various members.

6. “Bill of Costs—a glorious institution,” by Sir G. Grey. At the close of the course Sir William Fox will entertain the lecturers at a champagne supper ; and will, in honor of the occasion, sing “ Three jolly postboys drinking at the Dragon.”

I think medicine is better than law after all. A medico gets a lot of outdoor exercise, while the lawyer sits in stuffy rooms. Consequently, your medicos are genial, smiling fellows, while your lawyers are often grumpy and snappy. And the doctor is on the right side of society. He|is sent for in a hurry and the bes't cutlets are cooked, the best Burgundy uncorked for him : the whole house leans on him as on a prop. And very proper too. But there ore no cutlets and Burgundy for the man of parchment unless he is a “ star" like our eminent counsel, Mr Stout, and the.devil of it is, he don’t know 1 Burgundy from vin ordinaire.

Did you ever, dear reader, eafc a mutton sandwich, washed down by lemonade, and capped by a doughy bun? Then you have never feasted, that is certain. I shall never forget the ecstatic delight, the uncontrollable joy, expressed in the isuntenance’of a friend of mine’ who was one of a party in a buggy going some 50 miles through the bush, when, grace having been said and the basket opened, this succession of inviting courses was disclosed. We all know what an exhilarating pabulum cold mutton is, how lemonade sets the pulses bounding; and what unutterable delight may be derived from a penny bun. This is the sort of thing to fatten a poor relation on.

I am afraid “Cool Spray” will sound chilly as winter comes on. Yet, dear reader, you see, I cannot make it hot for you, but rely upon it we shall have it hot enough byand-bye.