MISCELLANEOUS.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2667, 7 October 1881, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The fisherman observed that he did not get a bite before lunch time.

Almost Personal.—Professor (to student who writes, not for the masses, but for the educated few), “You should write so that the most ignorant of your audience can understand all you can say.” Student (puzzled). “ What part of my production is not clear to you, sir?”

To an Ounce—Mother seeking a situation as footman for her rawboned son. Lady—“ Does he know how to wait at table ?” Mother ma’am.” Lady—“ Hoes lie know his way to announce ?” Mother— “ Well, ma’am, I don’t know that he knows his weight to an ounce, but hs does to a pound or two.” Scene Tropics. First Yankee skipper—“ Yes, met an immense crowd of mosquitos the other day. They went clean through my new main tops’l, and left nothing but the holt-ropes.” Second Yankee skipper —“Ay, yes ; that must have, been the mob we sighted on the and they all had canvas kneebreeches on.”

A syndicate of American, French, and German capitalists has resolved to construct a canal from Baltimore to the Atlantic, across the peninsula of Maryland and Delaware, at an estimated cost of 8,000,000d015. Tho land to be cut through is eight miles long. Tho cut will be 120 ft wide, 36ft deep, and require eighteen months to complete.