BROTHER GARDNER ON LABOR AND CAPITAL.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2660, 29 September 1881, Page 3

BROTHER GARDNER ON LABOR AND CAPITAL.

Tho Lime Kiln Club is a facetious creation of the “ Detroit Free Pres,’’ and the reports of the imaginary meetings of the club, under the imaginary presidency of Brother Gardner, furnish the readers of the Press with perennial supplies of wit. The following is a specimen : The Secretary read the following:— Chicago, March 30th, ’Bl.—Brother Gardner—Please inform your friends whether you sympathise with capital or labor, and oblige a—Workingman. ‘ln the fust place, dar’ am no call for me to sympathise with either,’ replied the old man in answer. ‘ One am jist as necessary to the odder as two wheels to a wagun, Capital cl’ars away a spot an’ builds a factory arid gin 50 or 100 men a chance to aim a fa’r support fur demselves and families. Hat factory wouldn’t be dar ’cept fur capital, an’ its wheels can’t move widout labor. If dis’ workin’.man wanted to draw me out on the question of strikes I has only a word to say. I believe dat de average employer pays his help a fa’r price, an’ all lie can afford. I b’lieve he knows his business, an’ am mo’ competent to run it dan men who labor for him. If I can’t work for a man fur de price he offers I stan’ aside. If I hire a man I pay him de||goin’ price, an’ I doan’tlethim tell me dat I mus do thus an’ so; Men strike hekase dey can’t dictate, but de same men wouldn’t be willin’ dat deir employers should dictate to dem how much rent to pay, what close to buy, and how to spen 5 deir wages. As I said befo’ dar am no call for sympathy in de case. De mo’ str|kes we hare de less money will be put into manufactures. When a capitalist kin loan bis money at good interest he am foolish to put it into a factory whar demagogues kin hariss an’ ruin him. Just you remember what talkin’. De mo’ unions de less factories. De mo’ strikes de less work. Do you fink I’m foolish ’nuff to take my 800 dollars out’n de bank, whar’ principal an’ interest are safe as a rock, and put it into coopershop, whar three workmen could sink de hull of it in one strike because I couldn’t pay mo fur makin’ de barl’s dan de same would sell fur! Shoo! Fings are cornin’ to a putty pass when de man wid a shovel on his ehoulder kin boss de man whose factory turned out dat identital tool’!