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South Canterbury Times, Issue 2447, 21 January 1881, Page 3

In London, on Guy Fawkes Day, among other effigies parading the streets, was one of “ Ned Kelly, the Australian bushranger,” with tin helmet and gun at back, complete. In one day alone, a London, house, a short time ago, sent to the Post Office 2 tons 18 cwt of circulars, paying postage thereon to the amount of £5lB. A Very Solomon.—Teacher with reading class. Boy reading : “ And as she sailed down the river—” Teacher : “ Why are ships called 1 she Boy (precociously alive to the responsibilities of his sex); “ Because they need men to manage them.” Quaker young ladies in the Maine Law States, it is said, still continue to kiss the lips of the young temperance men, to see if they have been tampering with liquor. Just imagine a beautiful young woman approaching you, : young, temperance man, with all the dignity of an executive officer, and all the innocence of a dove, Avith the charge—“ Mr Ike P., the ladies believe you are in the habit of tampering with liquor, and they have appointed me to examine you according to our established rules—are you willing? you must acquiesce.” She steps gently up to you, lays her soft arm round your neck, dashes back her raven curls, raises her sylph-like form from her tiptoe, and with her angelic features lit up with a smile as sweet as heaven, places her rich, rosy,, polity, sweet, sugar, molasses, strawberry, honeysuckle, sunfiour, rosebud, nectar lips against yours, and busses you, by cranky! Hurrah for the gals and the Maine Law, and death to all opposition.