UNDER AN EGG SHOWER; OR, THE ADVENTURES OF CAPT. WILLIAM JACKSON BARRY.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2346, 23 September 1880, Page 2

UNDER AN EGG SHOWER; OR, THE ADVENTURES OF CAPT. WILLIAM JACKSON BARRY.

In accordance with an announcement, the far-famed Capt. W. J. Barry put in an appuiiraiice at the Oddfellows’ Hall last evening', for the purpose of delivering a lee hire on “ What I saw in England.” The chairman for the occasion was a friend to whom the captain had been introduced at “ the Club ” under a plebcan patronymic, but who, to his subsequent surprise and delight, he was assured was no other than a Count. An audience of nearly 100 male residents, including many leading tradesmen, assembled, and punctually at 8 o’clock the Captain and his distinguished ciiairman, in orthodox broadcloth and faultless linen, strode across the platform. Capt. Barry had no sooner delivered his belltopper on the table in front than an egg of ancient flavor was delivered on his shoulder. The lecturer rose excitedly, but the chairman, waving his hand majestically, exclaimed : “ Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you a new arrival from the old country. lie tumbled oil; a private car in Princes street, Edinburgh, and was insensible for four hours, otherwise we might not have scon him.” (Uproar.) Captain Barry—(Looking savagely at his egg-bespattered shoulder) —Gentlemen, do you think I’m deserving of this treatment Turn that man out. (Renewed uproar.) Whoever threw that egg is no man. He threw it at an old colonist of Jifty-onc years standing. (Laughter.) Just let mo know him, and I’ll make him as his mother would not know him. (Renewed laughter and uproar.) I’d like to screw his neck round. (Gesticulating threateningly)— Turn him out. The Chairman—This, gentlemen, is Captain Win. Jackson Barry. (Screams of laughter.) The Captain descended from the platform, and marched through the audience calling out in threatening accents, Where’s the man that threw that Some one assured the captain that the egg was meant for the chairman and not tor the lecturer, and this had a pacifying effect. On remounting the stump, the Chairman amidst yells of merriment introduced the lecturer as a good authority on “ Dartmoor Gaol.”

The lecturer then began by asking for a hearing, and remarking that after they bad board him they might “have some difference of opinion as to who lie was.” (Laughter and uproar.) After he had linished lie did not think they would throw eggs at him. Someone had got a down on him or his friend, but it was not a gentlemanly trick. (The lecturer resumed dusting the egg olf his shoulder.) He would read and exhibit the letter lie got from the Queen, and tell them “ What I done in the Old Country when I were there.” (Laughter.) lie was not a Leaconslield, a Gladstone, or a John Bright, but an “ oggsperienced ” colonist. (A voice—- “ Eggspericnced,” and laughter.) Captain Barry proceeded to trace his descent from a veterinary surgeon, and described how at an early age he set out in a vessel that sprang a leak and ran short of water. (Laughter.) On the trip “ twenty-four deaths died from, measles.” (Renewed laughter, amidst which the Chairman, by ducking his head, allowed an egg to distribute itself on the curtain behind). After relating what occurred to him in Sydney. the Captain said ho left “ New Olland,” and visited Now Zealand where he saw the first “ missionary.” Of these lie had a doubtful opinion, for he declared that “ the Maoris were as honest as churches till they got enlightened by the mis.sionars.” His next exploit was floating on the back of a whale. (Yells of laughter and incredulous cries). “ They mightn’t believe him but a sperm whale could float half a dozen.’ (“ Glory, hallelujah I” in doleful accents, and laughter. An egg just missed the tip of the chairman’s nose.) Capt. Barry continuing—Gentlemen, I’m a-tclling you facts ” —(renewed laughter)—The captain next foil into the hands of Smith,a transported butcher, who “took me by the hand and raised mo to the years of manhood.” Hanging was fashionable in those days, and he had seen 17 hung of a morning. (“ Glory, hallelujah !” laughter, uproar, and two eggs, one of which nearly scalped the captain) Gentlemen—lf you like you can leave and take back your money—- ( A Voice ; “ That’s what we want.”) — I’ll give yon my experiences if you want them, but you must bo quiet. The Chairman (rising)—l protest against the eggs. (Laughter.) Captain Barry (holding up his autobiography)—Tin a going to speak of the outlines of this book that I’ve written about. (Uproar.) Quiet restored ho proceeded to narrate his adventures with the Australian aborigines, bow ho sat behind a Inbra and feasted on the refuse flung over the shoulders of lubra and blackfellow. He admonished the “new chums” present that there was “no tnssoeking” now, but plenty of railways for them to live on and yet they grumbled. (Laughter.) Captain Barry—l next went to the Chinee war. (Roars of laughter.) The Kalceforuy diggings broke out, and I went to Kalceforuy. “ (How many men did yon kill there?”) Soon after that Now Zealand broke out. (“ What a smash !’’ Uproar and laughter.) I wont there and I sat down to write my life in Queenstown when I was an nnotionecr there. (Renewed laughter.) I did not know what to do, but 1 stumped the country, and got WOO subscribers. Being at low water ebb 1 went to Dunedin. (“Glory hallelujah!” in melancholy tones. The chairman sprang to his logs as another egg passed midway between his right car and the captain’s left shoulder, leaving an enlarged represvntntion of a cowslip on the canvas.) Here a large egg that had winged Us way from the body of the room exploded with a slight report above the chairman, and one of the audience rose to ask “if smoking would he allowed.” Captain Barry related his interview with the claimant, whom he knew on Ballarat. Having heard the claimant’s story, he (Captain Barry) said : “ If you were transported for saying you were’nt Arthur Orton, then you are here under a mistaken identity.” (Roars of laughter.) Two eggs, one ol; which glanced against the chairman’s fore linger, induced the “Count” to leave the chair and take refuge at the wings, but he speedily resumed his seat amidst a scene of indescribable tumult.

Captain Harry (excitedly)—l want to know il : those eggs were aimed at me. (No ! no !) I must say the Timaru people are a rowdy lot. (Laughter.) In all my travels I never saw such people as calls themselves gentlemen. A scene of terrible uproar ensued, in

which a large mastiff took part, barking furiously. Captain Barry—l’m a colonist of fifty years’ standing, and I’m not going to stand and be pelted.(Screams of laughter.) I made hundreds of pounds out of my lectures. All you clever men who are boo-hooing, could you start with 17s Gd and do as much ? (Uproar.) The Chairman—Now then ; give the captain a chance. (Several screams.) Capt. Barry at this stage road a testimonial from JOG Duncdinitcs and a letter from Sir George Grey, adding “If I wont Home a pauper I didn’t come back a pauper.” (Uproar.) The Government paid his passage and gave him some pocket money, and when this was done ho called on Sir Julius A r ogcl and asked for supplies. Sir Julius tried to rub him oil: by saying that immigration had ceased, but he (Capt. Barry) had known Sir Julius when he was in Dunolly and Maryborough, and ho replied “ You must do something, Julius, I’ve only 17s Gd left, and I’ve been away 52 years and don’t know where my friends arc ”■—(laugthcr) — With that Sir Julius gave me £U>. (Applause and laughter.) Capt. Barry, amidst severe interruptions and derisive cries of “ Gracious me ! You don’t say so, &c,” related how he mixed with lords and marquises till he reached the Duke of Cambridge when his voice was drowned b} r a scene of confusion. Resuming, he told how he lectured to ten thousand of an audience. (Yells from the unbelievers.) Capt. Barry—lf you don’t believe me I have it here in my papers. I got great praise in the English papers, including the “ Times ” which I hold it here. (Laughter.) The lecturer opening his carpet bag withdrew a lot of papers and opening a book with a bright red cover said he would read the Queen’s letter. (A voice —“ Give us a song.”) Captain Barry—Well I will : —• Who wrote a book of wondrous talcs, And stories about hulks and jails, And floated on the backs of whales. Chorus ln r the audience —“Captain Jackson Barry.” A voice—Why didn’t 3’oa do like Jonah ? Captain Barry--! weren’t such a fool as to get inside. (Renewed laughter.) I tell .you I have been between two live lords in Hyde Bark. I was not in the swim there, was 1? (Laughter.) It’s not a rotten egg you ought to throw at me. There is not a working man in the country but is indebted to me (Uproar, cries of “ Chair,” “ Dry up,” “ Put him out,” Ac. Captain Barry—lf 3’ou’ll allow me I’ll read the Queen’s letter. Renowned uproar ensued in the course of which the “ Count ” sudden!}' vacated his chair, just in time to escape a goose egg of large dimensions which broke against the back, and fell with a loud liquid sound in the hollow of the seat. Captain Barry was repacking his books and documents when Mr Marshall, the boatman, demanded to know his age. Captain Bany —I told j’ou I was born in 1819.

Mr Marshall —Did you know Smith the gambler in California? Capt. Barry (addressing the audience) Smith bo hanged. Mr Marshall here began to interrogate the Captain about his acquaintance with the Victorian, diggings, challenging Barry with never having been at Brown’s while the Captain rejoined by declaring that Marshall “never was at Fryer's Creek in his life.” Mr Marshall (at the top of bis voice) 1 was there. Gentlemen, I was an Ebenczer. (Roars of laughter.) Captain Barry (with his bag in his right hand and his left extended towards Marshall) —He’s as mad as a March hare, Ido believe. I’m sorry to say you have not heard mv lecture.

At this shifts the Captain descended to the body of the lull, where he excitedly mounted a form, and asked those who threw the eggs to step forward, exclaiming - —“ I’m an old ’un, but I’m game yet; come on single handed ; young or old, I’m not afraid ! One at a time, &c.” On reaching the outside of the hall an endeavor was made to assure the offended captain that the rotten eggs were intended for his chairman and not himself. The captain retorted that if he had known he would not have visited Timaru for £do. Finally a warm argument arose, and as there were signs of a row, the captain, who was the chief bone of contention, was persuaded to retrace his steps to the hall, and the crowd was left to dispense.