A NEW COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2214, 22 April 1880, Page 2

A NEW COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.

The science of advertising has of lato attained quite a new development. It has been hitherto the boast of the proprietors of patent medicines, and, indeed, of those who have attained great popularity for their wares of any kind, (liat the virtues of the same, if not acknowledged, have been at all events, made known throughout the world ; that, in the most picturesque and solitary places, immense posters may be seen posted to rock and tree, extolling the miraculous properties of the bugdestroyer or the corn-eradicator. Not content with this, a number of these enterprising proprietors have now clubbed together and despatched an individual in their interests to visit the uttermost part of the world in person, and to acquaint them with those blessings of civilisation -which (although patent) have been hitherto unknown to them, and which, although enjoying a European reputation, arc still unappreciated in the heart of Africa, or among the benighted inhabitants of Polynesia. Before me lies an excellent map of the world, printed for this unrivalled coujiqcrcia). traveller’s instruction, with Jpg route marked in red ink (ns though it were a geographical boundary), and a table showing t! approximate dates of arrival and departure, distances, time occupied on the road, duration of stay in each locality, and population.’’ In Sonrabaya, for example, he stays uo less than 14 days—induced thereto, no doubt, by the place having 100,000 inhabitants —whereas to King George’s Sound lie makes a Hying visit of three days only. His modes of conveyance, which; of course, are very various, ape also sqfc down, and it sqqrris that lie will spend six months in fravejling, and 19 months in pushing Ins wares, making a total absence of 2-5 mollis. He started on .January 15, quid upojj my |ife, I qlipqst wish I had gonp with }ihp. That is now, pf poppse, lost opportunity, though it shoiijd Ija hqtiecd that any intending advertiser has only to communicate with him “ at po.st-olllpe til] cajled for,” a|; this op that (own, according (q date, tq Ipivp his wishes at onpe attended to. Oi|ly I can hardly see how ho can send out specimens’ of his wares, if they are iron churches, for example, or even that formidable bedstead, made so farnilar to us by the illustration at every raihiniy station, with (hat amazing intimation underneath it, “Free by post.” If this king of commercial traveller lias any sense of humour, ho must continually bo jn dipigoj.’ of sju If oration when lip considers tfip inpongiaioijsqcss <%| yyht|p ho carries with him' to' sell with tjip wants pf (lie inhabitant s among whom he find.-? himsc|f. Anioiig Jus thousand spcp|nipns |}o rr,qst occasionally take out tlio wrong one at the wrong place. To produce this patent cod-liver oil in Newfoundland, for instance, would be

like taking specimens of coal to Ne wcastle wlxile to offer goloshes to a naked population, where there is also no rain, would be obviously an empty compliment. Among the cannibal races (unless they are very careful in the selection of their food) he will probably find a good run up his “ digestive tablets ” but, on the other hand, if tender and toothsome, the enterprising young man may fall a victim to their appetites, without the satisfaction of knowing that he will disagree with them; on the contrary, he has carried with him the antidote to any unpleasant sensation which he might reasonably have hoped to cause them. I picture him to myself recommending a patent gibus (crush hat), or a cream for the complexion, to his Majesty of the Tonga Islands, and delicately suggesting-that a suit of court plaster would be better than none. His principal goods,,however, it would seem, are in the medical line, if he were but a homeopath, one would imagine him supplying the whole human race, not only with specimens of perfect cures, but with the drugs themselves, and in sufficient quantities —a whole ounce perhaps for the Celestial Empire, as it is so very populous —to set mankind upon its legs again (except where their mode of progression is on all fours) from the Tropic of Capricorn to that of Cancer. —“ Argus’ ” correspondent.