IT IS A MISTAKE.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2158, 18 February 1880, Page 3

IT IS A MISTAKE.

It is a mistake to suppose that a man is never employed as conductor of a horse car unless ho can bring the certificate of a respectable physician testifying to his total deafness. It only seems so to you because you happen not to attract his attention when particularly desirous to take his car. It is a mistake to think that your actions or desires have any influence on the dispenser of weather. You should he thankful they do not. If they did Old Prob would go mad and your fellow countrymen go madder. It is a mistake to think your interlocutor is listening to what you say. He is thinking either of what he has said or is going to say, just as you were and will do.

It is a mistake, young man, when you think the girls arc dying after you. It is only you who arc thoroughly in love with yourself.

It is a mistake for a preacher to say, “Just one word more and I am done.” He but lengthens his discourse by so much, without deceiving one of his hearers for an instant. It is a mistake to suppose that everybody is thinking about you. You do so much of that yourself that you exhaust the subject. It is a mistake to expect a direct answer from a politician. His life is given to dodging questions before the election and giving evasive answers after election. It is a mistake to suppose that your children will be satisfied with your experiences. You didn’t accept your fathers hut preferred taking a turn iu the same dear school. It is a mistake to suppose that men do not mean what they say. There is hut one man of whom you can positively make that affirmation. It is a mistake to suppose that the dismally pious man has had a change of heart. The change is iu the liver, if anywhere. It is a mistake to suppose that people go to a concert to hoar the music. They go simply to exchange receipts for doghunts and dropcakcs. It is a mistake to suppose that your friend is consumedly interested in your eloquent description of your liver troubles. On the contrary ho is excessively anxious to tell you of his catarrh. It is a mistake to wish the butcher would remove the bones before weighing your meat How would you like to be weighed that way yourself ?