A PHILOSOPHIC FIEND.

South Canterbury Times, Volume XV, Issue 2068, 8 November 1879, Page 2

A PHILOSOPHIC FIEND.

(From the “Now York Star.”) “ I should like to sell you a gimlet,” said a careworn looking man as he walked into an office the other day. “We have no use for one,” replied the cashier. “ But you should always look into the misty future,” went on the lieud demurely ; “ next winter you will want to make holes in your boot heels, so you can get your skates on.” “ You may want to screw some boards together some time. The old-fashioned method of driving the screws in witlx a hammer is pernicious, as it deteriorates the tenacity of the fangs of the screw, as it wore.” “Nothing to-day, sir.” “ This gimlet acts as a corkscrew.” “ I don’t want it.” “ It also may be used as a tack hammer, a cigar-holder, and a tooth-brush.” “It is an eraser, a pen, an inkstand, a table for computing compound interest, and a lunch-box attachment.” “ I can’t help it ; I don’t.” “ I know you don’t ; you’re one of those men tliat don’t buy a gimlet unless

it has a restaurant and a trip through Europe and an Italian Opera Company attached. You’re the kind of a man who wouldn’t live near an electric light to save a gas bill.” And tbe peddler walked out with his mental plumage on the perpendicu'ar.