MARRIAGE.

South Canterbury Times, Volume XV, Issue 2066, 6 November 1879, Page 2

MARRIAGE.

We wonder whether anyone has ever thought of the very unfair start which a young married couple get in the race of life when they first commence together. We wonder how far custom has been moulded by fashion into folly, and who is responsible for the result? We wonder why it should be that a time when common-sense would be at once most natural and most valuable, it should be most rare ; or why, when the young couple might be expected to have all their wits about them, they and their friends should suddenly seem to have gone mad? This essay has nothing to do with courtship or love making. What is natural is sometimes right; and though it seems at first sight strange that admiration of the other sex should cause a strong man to compose weak rhymes, yet, as it has been so for centuries, it will probably remain so for ever. A gander rarely looks such a gander as when he is courting a goose. Socrates probably cut a very foolish figure when he made love to Xantippe P and, if there be truth in history, that mighty sage regretted his folly all his life. It is not with love and love making that this paper has to deal, but with marriage ceremonies, honeymoons, the early hours of wedded existence, and the ritual of the day which is conventionally said to be the happiest day in a man’s life. Let us see what are the preparations for it. We shall suppose an average case. Great people and rich people may marry as they like, but the ordinary young couple beginning the world, and in a mighty hurry to do so, must marry as other people marry. It is an expensive piece of business, and the expense comes at an awkward time. It would be very pleasant to start with a big purse and have as much money as possible to buy tables, and chair*, and candlesticks, and nutmeg-grinders ; but the marriage must be paid for before the furniture can be thought of, and certain charges are thus indispensible. It would seem impossible to be married without collecting a number of your bride’s relatives and putting upon them the duty of appearing in appropriate dresses. Generally they are your bride’s sisters, and some of the funds which should supply her trosseau are depicted for unnecessary finery. A bridesmaid’s dress cannot be cheap and must not be useful. Its purpose is distinctly decorative, and, so to speak, sacrificial, the bride’s dress follows the same rule. The idea of being led to the altar in colorless silk, crowned with highly odorous flowers, and festooned in costly lace, is no doubt a very beautiful one. Persons who delight in emblems see all sorts of meanings and signifieatwUs iq

this little bit of ceremony, and the mind suffers a shock at the idea of matrimony commenced under less formal conditions. Time was when the male sex was restrained by equally rigid rules, and a man dared not face the parson and his father-in-law without appearing bound made some years ago against this tyrant in blue cloth extra. Happily a stand was and it would seem that even a cut-away coat is not inconsistent with well regulated connubial bliss. The bride, however, must be mysterious in white and emblematic in orange blossom. And a very singular figure, she often

presents. A couple are not necessary a youthful couple; and though May and December sometimes pair, October has also been known to select a suitable autumnal husband. A pretty blushing young girl, standing on the verge of maidenhood, does look fascinating in the white drapery of her wedding-day; but the complexion of a more nature spinster suffers from the contrast of satin and orange-blossoms. Why might she not be allowed to go down ; sepsibly with her intended to the church . in which, she may have worshipped for years, and there be married to him by the appropriate parson P Is there not something almost sinful in this decking her in costly raiment, and exhibiting her to her friends as surrounded with a * romance to which she knows she is not entitled ? And then, when the ceremony is over, there follows the breakfast. Now, what is there in the order of things that should require, because a man marries a woman, that twenty or thirty people, should drink bad champagne by daylight, and deliver themselves of much feeble oratory in faltering accents encouraged by loud and inappropriate applause ? To whom —except the pastry cook —is the wedding breakfast of the slightest interest or amusement ? The bride is troubled and anxious. The bridegroom, frequently alluded to as a happy man, _ looks disconcerted and ashamed of himself. The parents have their own recollections, which for the most part, leave them in a depressed condition. There arc lugubrious speeches, and everything seems forced, awkward, and funereal. The cutting of the cake is the signal for public oratory, and the display goes far to show that fluency of speech is an

acquired accomplishment, since no one seems to have it naturally. Even the bridesmaids get tired of their own importance, and cannot help feeling that a pic-nic or dance would he worth twice the money. The groomsmen look very awkward in their morning clothes, and seem to have said all they have to say on their way down to the church in the carriage. Everyone thinks that the day is very long and very stupid. The bride has gone up to take off that silly wedding-dress and assume suitable travelling costume. Like Venus she is attended on this occasion by her her nymps, and rcapppears, after considerable delay, looking flushed, tired, and, on the whole unattractive. It seems doubtful whether, if the bridegroom were to sec her now for the first time, he would ever put any important question to her. The moment is dramatic, and she takes leave of her friends and her parents. It seems difficult to abstain from tears, and more difficult to account for them, Much kissing is performed and eyelids are red. The bridegroom hitherto rather a hero, now appears in his true light as a kind of cowardly burglar. All the groomsmen are uncomfortable, and the bridesmaids look vindictive. Happily the train is punctual, and delay must be cut short. The carriage is at the door, and trunks and valises are on the box, the inevitable (and detestable) travelling-bag, with its silver fittings, has been handed in. Everyone who is not in the street _is at the window. A shower of rice patters down from an unseen quarter and is stated by the person to illustrate a beautiful Eastern custom. A crowd of little boys hang round the door and pass discriminating remarks with great sincerity and gusto. A forlorn German band gives the familiar melody of “Home, Sweet Home,” with such splendid discord that many of the guests think it must be by Wagner. The fatal moment has at last arrived, and the husband, for a longtime fondly regarded as Eaust, but now recognised inlfls real character of Mephistophslcs, claims his Margaret, and hurries her away with him to the carriage door. The excitement is intense, The groomsmen cheer, the little boys cheer, the bandsmen blow a storm of wind into their instruments, and arc superbly out oh tune. From the drawing room balcony there comes down such a hail of rice as might seem to threaten India with famine. The coachman whips up the horses like kitchen, eggs they plunge forward and one of the German bandsmen is hearly run over. A sympathetic, hnt Hear sighted,housemaid flings a satin shoe from an upper window and hits a policeman on the helmet. The hoys cheer again, and the bridegroom waves his gloves at the window as the carriage ierks round the corner of the street. The party in the drawing-room begins to break up. Everyone seems to be ' puzzled as to what is the proper thing to say, and each guest, as he wishes the lady of the house good-bye, remarks that the hopes and trusts her daughter may be bappy. The observation is in such a doleful voice that a stranger might think the wedding concluded under the gloomiest auspices.—" Mayfair.”