Circumbendibus circumnavigation off council's circular centrepiece

Ruapehu Bulletin, Volume 12, Issue 579, 28 March 1995, Page 4

Circumbendibus circumnavigation off council's circular centrepiece

Well strike me pink, the council has struck again. After months, indeed years, of peering out through the net curtains of the Ruapehu District Council Service Centre watching misses, near misses and crashes, they have finally taken the bold step of installing a roundabout arrangement on the Miro Street corner. They thought the curtain had come down. It looks sort of right but as that old saying points out, if you build peanuts you get monkeys. Or is it vice versa? If the laughing in the rugby clubrooms is anything to go by, anyone in a 'chap's' car or truck has difficulty doing a 360° round it. We didn't want to go on mere rumour and hearsay so got fully prepared at home with air bags made of inflated wine cask innards, crash helmets and a compass. As a precaution we took the extra petrol off the back and climbed into our 'chap' s' truck, a Chevrolet Scotsdale (with obligatory gun racks) and prepared for battle. As we approached from the north, we ceased talking to concentrate on the job at hand, swung the truck left then a hard lock to the right and attempted to leave by the north exit. We cleared the concrete on the west by three inches. Here were two people prepared for what lay before us. What of innocent people driving a Chevrolet Scotsdale

who just remember they' ve left Granny in the bath with the tap running and have to do the same driving procedure? As for the concrete give way arrangement coming in from Raetihi, I've seen stronger playdough. Back to the other business, I think I' 11 just join the crowd and add my tyre marks to the accumulating ones that go across the centre piece. I ' ve got a very good idea. John B allance' s torso is going cheap and it' s not really him because there wouldn' t be any brain stem function. We could pop this in the middle. The community could just decide on different revered heads to top the torso off. Personally I'd go for Big Buck Shelford, others might pump for Rachel Hunter, Mahatma Gandhi, Rin Tin Tin or Robocop or we could run a type of Heylen Poll on aspiring mayor and mayoresses using cranial likenesses. My advice is to get out from behind those net curtains and re-assess the situation or if you're in town in a Chevrolet Scotsdale, use another road.

Justine

Adams