SECRETS OF SUCCESS

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 3, Issue 693, 20 November 1933, Page 7

SECRETS OF SUCCESS

WiHY SOME MEN ARE FAILURES AND OTHERS NOT. REASONS ANALYSE-D. iWhile every normal -man and woman 1 ! strives to learn the secrets of success in life, how many pause to consider the causes of fiailure? Dr. Bernard Hollander, the psychologist, recently analysed the reasons , for failur'e while speaking- at a London meetin-g -of the South Place Ethical Society. They ranged from sheer laziness .and overweening ambiti-on to the handicap of a bad marriage — the wife who is a millstone round her husband's neck, says a London paper. "A man fails," said Dr. Hollander, "if his ideas are larger than his purse; if he trusts unworthy people; -if he puts pleasure before duty and has too many or too expensive amusements; if he does not do to-day what he can possibly put off until to-mor-row; and if he risks all his eggs in one basket, when he is .not in a position to watch or control it. "Some men fail because they are given to dawdlin-g, indecision, worrying, or fretting, or have over-sanguine expectations. "A man is bound to fail if he has no sense of hum-our, lacks cordiality, does not know how to approach men, cannot take a rebuff good-naturedly, does not carry confidence or conviction, and when he is too long-winded in his conversation so that people tire befoi'e he ge-ts to the point." A good many fa-ilures in life, said Dr." Hollander, were due to over-iac-tive impulse, but the man whose anitnial nature was weak had no right to pose as virtuous, because temptation did not exist for him. Success or failure in life depended also to a great extent upon the kind of partner in- marriage. '"There is the nagging wife, the clinging wife, the domineering wife, and the dull-witted wife who is something of a millstone round her husband's neck," he said. "There is bound to be failur'e when an aggressive, masculine woman marries an effiminate youth; when an independent and eourage-ous man marries a helpless, stupid woman; an-d an lathletic, vigorous woman marries a dried-up "bookworm. "I have lcnown girls to marry a man for such trivial reasons that 'he dances divinely.' "The present generation seeks new solutions to matr-imony by indulging in sex-freedom, unconscious of the disasters it leads to. "Neither society, the State, nor humanity can continue to exist without the old-fashioned wedded couple bound together by a bond o-f love and affection-. "We need not go back to Victorian manners and restriction; but some of our most distinguished writers go to the other extreme, as if chastity were identical with hnbecility, and ia regular matrimonial life identical with lunacy."