MOCK COURT

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 107, 28 December 1931, Page 6

MOCK COURT

CARNIVAL SUCCESS CHARGES AND SENTENCES BE HIS HONOUR, JUDGE MEPHISTOPHOLES S.M.'S FIND THEM OUT There is a depressing adage that sins, like a mother-in-law, always find. one out, and on Boxing night, a1 large number of Rotorua's well known citizens and visitors realised with some poignancy, the truth of the saying. Haled before the dread Judge Mephistopheles, they found themselves suddenly confronted with charges, which obviously came as even more of a shock to them than other charges which have been placed upon them in common with all other tax-payers, in this year of grace. Levity was the predominating note in the moclc court and the very large crowd which gathered to enjoy the fun, fully appreciated the point of many of the charges which were brought, and the predicament in which their friends found themselves. Relented Every prisoner, however, had the right to plead his case and some of those haled before the bar of the dread judge gave the court as good as it meted out. His Honour was all things to all men, but relented noticeably when a young lady accused perched herself upon the arm of the judicial chair and dealt with him on informal lines. Repartee was bright and the energetic Infernal Prosecutor did not require his weighty tomes of legal learning to drive home his points. The only criticism which could be offered of His Honour's d^cisions was that the crowd could not witness the execution of the sentences whieh made up in variety what they lacked in severity. Rotorua residents were not the only persons affected, for a number of visitors who had been unfortunate enough to come under the notice of the summary tribunal were called on to answer for their sins of omission and commission. Among these was Mr. S. S. Dean, president of the N.Z. Rugby Union, who was charged that being manager of the 1924 All Blacks he did wilfully aid and abet his team to eommit the crime of scoring tries to the disgust of Mr. H. R. Jenkins, ex-M.P., and English sportsman. The victim invoked the Statute of Limitations, on the grounds that a charge seven years late, was overdue.

Not Enough Mr. W. Witt, of Wellington, was placed in a serious dilemma when he was charged with habitually 'consorting with youthful beauties and assisting His Satanic Ma'jesty in that he introduced to flappers, cocktails of an alcoholic content of 4 per cent. His Honour toolc a grave view of this charge pointing out that to have anything to do with a cocktail of only 4 per cent alcoholic content was a very serious matter. Charged with failing to provide samples for his friends, Mr. T. E. James, D.C.L., representative of Wellington, was fined two gallons without the option, a decision which was very popularly received. A Month on Mokia A formidable list of charges was preferred against, his Worship the Mayor, Mr. T. Jackson, who was required to. explain why he failed to appear in last year's Birthday honours, and further that he had gone to the pack and had had himself included in Burke's Peerage through Dlue milk instead of blue blood. His Worship was sentenced to spend a month a Mokoia Island, in company with Mr. Robert Kirk. Dr. J. D. C. Duncan, ably defended himself against a charge that being a Bally Knowologist, he failed to take a bath whether he needed it or not, and entered a public bath that contained not only water but Rachel. Mr. F. Ansell, one of the stalwarts assisting the Carnival Organiser faced charges of impersonating his Satanic Majesty arriving in hell too soon, of parading in a public place as Lady Godiva, indecently apparalled, -and with starving a snow white palfrey.

Medical Observation Mr. R. P. Spedding put up a very vigorous resistance befox-e he would consent to appear before the tribunal. When he was eventually brought to order he was charged that being a member of the Car Traders association he permitted one Johnny Mo'ore to sell cars without charging commission and that he did commit perjury under the rules of the association by deelaring that a car sold by the said Johnny Moore was not the best car on the market. The prisoner denied the charges vigorously, claiming that the car was not the best, but better than the best. He was remanded for medical observation on the second charge. Mr. R. Baumberg had no blush of shame on his cheek when he was charged with consorting in a public place with Lady Godiva, but appeared distinctly perturbed when ordered to take a ride on his own Atlantic Flyer. A number of other unfortunates also received attention from the court, including members of the audience, who suddenly suffered a deminution in their enthusiasm when they found themselves abruptly removed from the role of spectators to that of participants.