NEAR AND FAR

Rotorua Morning Post, Volume 1, Issue 31, 29 September 1931, Page 2

NEAR AND FAR

Worried. "I know a little fellow whose mother made him go to church overmuch, says a correspondent. He didn't know \Vhat "it wUs' all about hut the solemnity of the service awed him. "One day, after they had returned from church and the mother was giving the child a little additional Bible talk he interrupted her, saying: "Close the door. 'Hallelniah might come in." ' ! • f Habitual. One.of the funniest arrests ons record occurred the other day in San FrancisCo when'a man, picked up as a bandit suspeet, was gathered in by the police net. "Fid you give thfe man the third degi'ee?" asked the rer porters. "Yes. We hrowbeat and badgered him with every question we conld think of." "What did he do?'? "He dozed off and merely said now and then-, '-Yes, my dear, you are perfectly right'." " ' « Twenty Fishing Lines at Qnce. Using fishing . rods fitted with a lamp which lit when a fish was eaught, and an automatic device whieh promptly reeled in the line, a man at Genoa took charge of twenty fishing lines. He had Only to unlioo'k the fish and replace the bait. ' ? *» Remedy. The United States Immigration Department is taking its share of the blame for the gangster pfoblem. ' A million people are asking, "how comefe it that you have let this element into the country?" One day the matter came np for diseussion in the Senate", and Senator Moses of New Hampshire remarked: "I think the Post Office gave tis the "answer to the gangster prohlem when it sought to benefit Ghristmas holiday conditions." The advice of the Post Office was "Ship Early." ; Collars and Depression. A visitor to an Invercargill Chinese laUndry, seeing a formidahle pile of pardels ready for delivefy, remarked to the laundryman that business appeared hrisk, says the Southland News. "Times very hard," was the response. "Surely not with all those parcels," said the visitor. "Ohj those not called for," was the reply! It transpired that the inipressive array was the accum'ulation of weeks or months, and the laundryman is anxiously wondering when his ' clients will be in a position to retrieve what would be deemed an essential part of their wordf ohe in more prosperoufe days. Reversing. "I believe things are swinging back to normal," said Lady Townshend at a New Yorlc dinner, prior'to h'er reL turn to England. Women are tiring of doing men's work and eager to pick up the threads of domesticity again." "Only the other day, in the Plaza, I overheard a young business , woman say to a friend: "Hereafter* I intend to hnsbarid my means." "Naturally that means a hushand," the friend replied with qhick understanding." Good for "A Duck." A cricket. match between the two neighbouring villages promised an exciting finish. In the closing stages the telephoUe rang in the pavilion. The home team captain picked up the receiver. "Hullo !" said a voice at the other end. "This is Mrs. Jones speaking. Can I speak to my husband?" "He's our last man in, and he's just gone out to bat." "i'll just hold the line." The Youth of N.Z. Addressing a gathering of young people in Palmerston North, the Rev. F. H. Ross, of California, spoke most enthusiastically of the splendid physiqne of the youth of New Zealahd. "The young men and women of this Dominion are developing on splendid athletic lines and are of very fine o.aring. Mrs. Ross has many* times remarked since our arrrival oii the very fine manner in which the young women carry themselves," said Mr. Ross. Dangerous.

In certain lines of -business the horse is still regarded as a dangerous animal. One of these is apple selling and one canriot blame the huekstef very much. This particular chap set up two stands, on opposite sides of the street, tending to oue personally and leaving a tin 6up at the other, on the honour systein. Then came the traffic jam and a horse and waggon halted alongside the tin cUp. The horse ate his fill of the luscions apples, bnt apparently was lacking in hononr, while the frantic huckster, caught between the devil 'and the deep Sea, conld do nothing bnt hope that the hungry beast would develop a stomach ache. Mad Dog's Bark. How the bark of a mad dog sounds was brought home vividly to wireless listeners in Los1 Angeles, California (U.S.A.), recently, Tke voice of a eag'ed dog, suffering- ; from hydrophobia was recorded on a phonograph record. Then it was boardcast together with the bark of a normal animal, to warn the public when to keep away fronf a dog acting suspiciohsly. The unusual experiment was dOnducted hy officials of the Los Angeles Department of Health. -

Daring Cat Burglar. Now known familiarly to residents in and about Burnell Avenue, Thorndon (Wellington), as the "cat burglar," a daring • individtial has been visiting houses in the vicinity by night and stealing articleb of Value. He is described as being tall and thin, and is said to. be" extr'emely agile and has no trouble in elearing fences when pursued. His procedure, it seems, is to enter a house through a window, open both the front and back doors, take th'e lceys, and cut the electric light wires, so that if the occupants are disturbed by his operations he will be able to make his exit with a maximum of ease.