Wake Up Clevedon.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 6, Issue 299, 7 August 1917, Page 1

Wake Up Clevedon.

[To the Editor] Sir—What a state of unrest now exists within the Ark. Here is Mr Luke accusing me of throwing mud about; Mr Mum o accuses another man of throwing mud, when all the time he was only "kicking up a dust" mud throwing evidently being my particular speciality; and now wo have Mr Browne throwing small potatoes. Soon we hope to see Bob's City Fathers throwing spawls. But, Mr Editor, surely we see some signs of prvigrW withal. Have we not jumped from Noah in Genesis to Luke, and by way of Samuel to Revelations ? (Some going, that). Now, if Mr Luke would act up to his cognomen, and carefully look through my letters, he would surely see that I w.ts blaming no-one for the existing bad state of the pirticuhr points of ihe roads mentioned in my letter of June 20 :h but that I was trying to prove "Boal Ulevedonite" wrong when he stated th it he would drive me along 20 miles of perfect roads about Clevedon, without getting even a bump. I challenged him to name these roads, taking the Post Office as a centre, and omitting the Tapakura road, that being a County road and so not being to the credit of the aforementioned City Fathers. Mr Luke is n >t himself consistent, for, in the first place, he accuses me of mis-state-ment of facts, and at the same time wi-hes to claim credit for Mr B owne's previous efforts at advaicoment. Then again, he states that he does not "relish" corresponding with one who is afraid to sign his nam" 1 , •a ;d then immediately proceeds to ' sauce" me, I was under the impression that eattce and relish were synonymous, but perhaps hfi got confused with the derivation ( f the word relish, which is from the French '"lecher," meaning "to lick." No doubt Mr Luke was wishful to expnss his forgiving nature by stating in a roundabout way that ho did not wish to ' lick" me while coatel with the mud at present being thrown about.

To continue Mr Luke's romance, (which he evidently did not care to do through feelings of mode, ty, seeing he hid boldly decided to si»n his name) beginning at the point where he left off with my awakening in the quariy. la the eve weie al-o "Real Olevedonite," "MrLjok" and other of the City Father', who hid also been pre ent at Noah'* banquet—this form of enteitiiumeat being s imething new to the distri t, ami not to bo mLscd on any a con: t, being free -and who were, 'ike myself, bleeping off the after-effects. Whrn we were ill turned out by Sanmel ou his t iking over the quarry (naughty, naughty Mr Browne to sp >ii all Mr Luko's ni e faiiy tales) we e.eh did at cording 'o his "lights" (there must have I een lights about at that time) Ac-ic-ing to Mi Luke, I commence I thr< wing mud—being an effort to form a solid track leading to my homo - while "Mr Look," being of a generous nature, offered to drive "Re U Olevedotite" home, but on arriving at "Mr Looks' so-calle I "rjad" leading down to Whaka something, his passenger swore that he was driving into the river, and it appeared to b. l in flood To satis'y "fieal Olevedonite" "MrL ok" turned away and looked for the best bit of road ho could find, which happened to be the Pupakura road. Being entirely engrossed with the discussion of the growing of small potatoes they gave the hnse its head, audit naturally wishing to get h imo to Whtkitoodle turned off to the left, and so came back to the t un hip, win re it was met by my stormof mud, and being turned off its pr /per c ur.se it took the same route again This went on for some tin.e, until tiny had com pitted some 20 miles, and now "Ileal Olevedonite" is sure at the piesent time that he occa did twenty miles about Clevedon on a good metal road, but he is not sure when or where. Evontually they took refuge from my mud throwing b} stumbling into the City Library after wading through poitions of my mud which hid dropped about the entiance to the same (this is a fact, Mr Editor, and if you do not b lieve ni", the mud is still therefor you to see, and a "board" for sight steri to stand on while hiving a look- m> chitrgi-) when they made a bed of tne books ami went off to sleep along will tho Library Comuiitteo

As to writing und r a nom de plume, it is ini ii ca->e i>f being afraid to sign my n ,m i, hut a c.ise of y-tting un olie.ud t sstimonials and iiiiljias i<l critic -m, tlio which lam now enjoying. I : I mak • any mist ikes in in} I idles, I. am cp nto c ii'i'i i.'.i'ii Uii' ■ug!i yin cu.uiliis without fi .n i i n!i ne ». Now, in Mi Lii.'-'s i a ■, lio has .sign (I itii u.i i.o ai 1 s i I cannot comment on Ii s mud !y hosui in the can ful v. y h ■ h ■• iivuid ii taking ir ilit f t .im ;. o nl : d c mditi .ii of 'Jin to il 1- ■!•! 04 d'.u. ii t" Wlnkiititl-,1- un i <<■■■ r .vliii '> ' pr<snni.' lit* !■•• i- ■• t .■•!', a - ! c-.r-1i..,; in i |... :. j Tin 'i r : i;■ Mi-; ■ *in »t ili'ii i i, i • ii' I in iv.- 'ii!.- . ; . •:. ' i" '■ i kiiri v.' ui ; w i o (•■■ : ■ V-'in i l.v Van Wi-.ki :. Sleeky Hollow, August : - , I'-'l".