THE RULING PASSION.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 232, 5 December 1916, Page 3

THE RULING PASSION.

The man who answers the telephone in the Christchurch " Evening News" office has come to the conclusion that the only thing people really take an interest in in this country is known as " sporting intelligence." Hence he has prepared the following ode

The telephone tinkles—Oh, who can it be ? Who wants to ask something important of me ? The world is at war, death roams o'er the earth, Of terrible news there is never a dearth. Our hopes flutter down and our hopes flutter up— And the voice at the 'phone asks us, " What won the Cup ? "

The grandstand is. burning right down to the ground, And all sorts of rumours have spread all around; They say, in the panic, that people were slain, And never will go to the races again; But tho voice at the 'phone, though it sounds quite dismayed, Merely asks "if tho next race will bo long delayed." Presidential elections are held in the States, And tho cables are fraught with political fates, Australia has clinched out conscription to day, And the Empire is fooling—well, not at all gay; The Huns have done things at which the blood curdles, And the bloke at the 'phone asks us " What won the Hurdles

When Gabriel is blowing his ultimate blast, And the sheep and the guats are mustering fast, To be drafted apart, to their judgment to go, To perpetual bliss or long aeons of woe, Ere I rush to take up my own humble place, I'll have to tell someone " what won the last race."