"BOTHER THE LAWS!"

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 201, 18 August 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

"BOTHER THE LAWS!"

STORIES TOLD BY A WITTY DEAN. Perhaps one of the best stories told by the late Dr. Pigou, Dean of Bristol. and who had the reputation of being one of the brightest humorists in the Church, ufcis that concerning the quaint verger ot the old parish church at Hnlfax. where" Tie was at one time vicar. The verger Tm one occasion nrad\> him marry unconsciously an ola man to his dead wife's sister before the passing of tlie Deceased Wife's Sistor Act.

He remonstrated with the verger, who replied : "'lt was just this way do you see; one of the parties was eightyfour and t'other eighty-six. I says to myself. 'lt can't last Tong; let 'em wed, and bother the Uws[' " Another of Dr. Plgou's favourite stones related to a temperance lecture. The lecturer brought with him a tumbler of water, which he had procured from a pond covered witli duckweed, containing the familiar animalculne, freshwater shrimps, diminutive eels, shellfish, etc. Holding up the glass, the lecturer descanted on its contents, and proceeded to say: ''Now, my friend', watch the deadly effect of alcohol. The moment I drop a drop of alcohol into this tumbler all the creatures will die. - ' At this a woman shouted out: "Eh my word! if that's what «p : rits does with the creatures, i 11 always take care and put some in water I drinks;" The*lecturer collapsed. It was Dr. Pigou, too, who used to tell the story of an encounter between Dr. Whatoly, at one time Archbishop of Dnbbn. and a young aide-de-camp, who at dinner asked. " Does your Grace know the difference Tk'lvvoen an ArcliItishop and an ass?" ''Sir. Tdo not," answered Dr. Whatoly. "One wears the'( r ros.s on his.mitre, the other wears it on h : s back," explained the tactless officer. "Do you know the difference an* aide-de-camp and an ass!'" asked the Archbishop, calm!/, in return. " No, vour Grace. Ido not," was the nply. "Neither T'lo I." said Ms Grace, and the aide-de-camp was crushed.