MR. LABOUCHERE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 193, 21 July 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

MR. LABOUCHERE.

AM) THE BULLDOG.

" Very well," said Mr. Laboie .lore. ' I'll tell you and Max a dog story. Max pricked up liis ears, prepared to listen. "When 1 was in Rome, in IS —, atrvcho of the English legation, 1 formed a romantic and close friendship with the Marquesa di X , a pretty and intellectual widow. bhe \\;is by way of having a salon, and she lived in a large, roomy villa, with a Harden in front and a flagged path which led to the street. "One of her 'Jhursdays an unusually large assemblage of people had bade the M trquessi good-night, but I remained behind to point out i.'.at inadvertently she had shown a too tlat-te.-ing amount of attention to a good■ooking, long-haired Scandinavian violinist. Her views and mine were dramatically opposed about the fiddler. 1 launched forth with great eloquence to prove my c ise until the lateness ot the hour surprised us both, and it was hailpast two o'clock when 1 left the house. HALT! •'The moon was shining brightly: the tall cypress trees cast long t-hadows across." the road; there were clumps of shrubbery in the little garden, and I could not have gone many steps Irom the front door when an immense oui'dog emerging from beneath a flowering a'thea called h#lt I "And 1 halted. " He seemed to have the friendliest fe,-lings towards me, so long as 1 stood .stock-still. But he resented any movement. however slight. It took me at least half an hour to furtively extract my pocket handkerchief. I did it as nearly like a sleight-of-hand man as possible, but when 1 blew my nose he threatened to tear me to pieces. " F never understood, until those interminable motionless hours, what bulldog tenacity meant. I tried cajolements, arguments, threats, and curses. He remained mutting, adamant. - Fina'ly 1 spoke to him in my most dulcet Italian—- " Tit sei buonoeh. . molto buono . . huonissimo eh?" "'But he was a true Briton, and threatened to slay me on the spot if be heard another word of that detestable foreign tongue. Wearily I changed from one foot to the other, but lie soon stopped that, and, obedient to his orders. 1 stood on both foot, immovable, until five o'clock in the morning. "When the milkman, butcher and baker saw a gentleman standing in full evening dress, bis opera hat under his arm—the bulldog liked me bareheaded —in the middle of the Marquesa's garden, they were transfixed with curiosity and astonishment. Apparently there was no reason for this attitude, as the bulldog had retreated and tat concealed under a luxurious oleander. " I hoped they might think a sculptor from the inside of the house was studying my pose, but warily turning my head, in spite of threatening rumbles from the shrubbery, 1 saw that the shutters were all closed. The house was wrapped in slumber. A DKSPERATE SITUATION. " The situation was becoming desperate. It is the duty of every Englisn gentleman to die in defence of the honour of his ladv-love. 1 decided to die. Knights bedecked with Iwrdered sleeves of ladies fair had fought to the d.uth in jonsts and tourneys, out one of them, that 1 could remember, had been chewed to bits by a bulldog. " 1 looked my horrible fate bravely .n the face—he showed every tooth in his vil'ainous head —nevertheless, I cautiouslv turned. So did lw?, and, with a horrible growl, sat himself conveniently near tor my next move. "As romantic novelists say when thosupreme crisis comes, I must liave prayed. Anyhow, I shut ir.y eyes, swung out mv arms, and mad-" flying leap "for the- steps. One of my legs serine 1 weighted with a ton of pig-iron. It was th' bull-dog clinging to my trousers. Presently there was an agreeable rip, a feeling of lightness, and the gentleman, with his mouth full of black ""broadcloth, waited beside me. Ho chewed s'owly, as if hunting lor shreds of my flesh. I rang the bed with persistence and desperation. The Marchesa prided herself < ; n being a cosmopolitan. Her staff of servants included a dignified, haughty, conventional English butler. When he answered the door, looking quite immaculate. he was apparently not more surprised' to see me at five o'clock m the morning than if it had been o'clock in the afternoon. I took his cii", and said quite naturally : - 'is the Marquesa di A "t ho;:.or' - , •• •>•.«. is. sir. he out she's : ;i bed sir."' , . - •Indeed,' I said, Ui surprised at that. When she gets up, give her my card and'ajy I called.' Taking a car l ' from m/pocket, I held it toward him, and with the superb composure oi »• self-rcsj>eciing lackey, he received it on hi- t'av. and waited for me to go. HARMLESS AS A LAMB. Succulent chewing and snorts ironi the bii'lug bad somewhat our polite" conversation. As I turned, " a w. t biack ball fell on the marble ' steps. There was a nimble like a sum- ! nier sen-ill. and widj red jaws confronted me. (luce more I stood still. H'en 1 ! i s-iid in a slightly emotional voice-- : -You had better tie up this must excellent watchdog. lam not the leastatra'd ol him—not the least. But 1 sole -".'idv eise might come along wlio " would V, so I'll iusi wait and sec you ' do n , • 1 +;.» • Don't vou oother, sir, said tn--1 butVr. He likes a bit of fun, but he > 1 as arndess as a lamb. I'll tie him up after vn.i're gone.' •• I said, airly, 'it s no trouble to n.c i" wait i t am only i.iking < nii'inm.- - ..11, and have plenty t|F T ' " 'V.- ry well, sir,' said the. butler, and for a moment there was a wicked gleam "f intelligence in the eye of tint seif-ci iitained animal. 'He s my dog. .jr. and wou'dn t hurt a hinfant, biu I'li li • him up. sir, just to please you. " \i!< 1. losing tiie lamb by the collar, he led him away, and 1 went home and wrot.' to my tailor lor two sout pairs ot broadcloth trousers. —Erom "Dog 1 a book telling the best store's 2 ofall" the best dogs Mrs. T. P. O'ConI nor has known in England and Amerv i,a and on the Continent, and with - these stcr.ies many anecdotes <i welle known people.