THE BOMBING OFFICER.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 187, 30 June 1916, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE BOMBING OFFICER.

A TRAGIC COMEDY. (By Lucas Cappe,, in "The Scotsman.") "Tins." said the Boinbiiijj; Officer, "is a live bomb." I withdrew slightly ,ni(l involuntarily. Bombs are apt to be unpleasant things, and I have no particular 'iking for them. Hargroaves, however, almost seemed to be fondling the H-ftrunienc of destructionhe patted it lovingly, he stroked it in an amorous rapture, he throw it a little into the air and caught it again with all the blase nonchalance of the man-who-knows. "The grenade," he wont on. "is not really di.ngorous until I withdraw this pin," and he pointed to a pin on the s'de of the bomb. Knowing next to nothing about bombs. 1 felt a little dubious, but I did not venture to question his .statement. AT.'ii with live explosives should In' humoured A DINKY I.IrXTKXANT. Hargroaves is a very immaculate officer. He spend:; a small fortune "ii hair creams, while the cut of his uniform would make manv a knut green with envy. In short, lie i< a "dinky lieutenant"' (in flappers' parlance). Clarence Hargroaves has only one failing—hit- dog. People nerer talk of the one without mentioning the other. I have overheard the men talking about " Hargi.avcs and his dog," and in the iiR-si he is usually known as "Clarence and his pup." or "one officer, complete, with canine." Bobby Bilks calls ii "an animal with a leg at each corner, brood unknown." This annoys Clarence—he is m> fond of ".Jock." The CO. used to like .lock, too, until oue day be tore his Glengarry into shred-; since when he is wont to call him a ; but th:s is neither here not there'

One clay Hargrvaves announced that ho had become engaged. "Is Jock dead, then?" I asked. This displeased Clarence, but 1 think he has forgiven me now. Tn any ease, it happened before he joined the Suicide Club or 1 would never have said it. (Suicide Club is the facetiously pleasant name by which bombing parties go in the army.) Hargreaves continued to play with the bomb, his dog sniffed about a box of guncotton, causing mo. personally, groat uneasiness. A DEMONSTRATION. Clarence was 'r, his element to-day. He was giving a demonstration for th° benefit of the other officers—a "fr"o fireworks display,' as Bobby flippantly put it. Wo wore all rut on a largo heath, in which was a hol'ow. Into this hollow Hargreaves was to throw his grenades, the result of which we were to watch from a respocttul distance._ "Send that dog away, Hargreaves," commanded the Colonel. A general munnjir or approval aro-e as the order was obeyed, anl Jock walked sedately out of sight, his tad hanging dejectedly between his legs. '•'ft is only right," continued the bombing officer, after he had got over the sad parting, "for you to know something about grenades and how to throw them, because you might be called upon to do so in France." "What happens," asked Ray, an inveterate askef of stupid questions, "it you make a mistake and the thing explodes in your own trench!'" "What happens in that case," eolomnly retorted Clarence "depends en the kind of lite you've led." Hay subsided, and the Adjutant sini'ed. '•When I throw this grenade I want you all to lie down—just in case of accidents Xow, watch carefully. • • • I withdraw the safety pin, hold the boir.it ihufc, and throw it." And he did. 'On the handsdown!" shouted the physical training officer, But his order was not required. We already flat on our faces on the soil. The "Adjutant—who is inclined to be rotund —seemed to have got down with inercdibb alacrity. Then we waited —for hours, it appeared—for tho explosion, which came presently, accompanied by a sort el spout of sand into the air, a kind of whistling sound, and tl»on the dull thud of clods returning to earth. "It's all over now." remarked Hargreave- reassuringly, and we got up, brushing the clinging glass from in ;,n we did so. "Com? and see the 1 ole it made, persisted Clarence. He led the way. and as he reached the spot we saw him stop suddenly and look intently on the ground. Then lie stared wildly round the landscape, shouting "Jock! Jock! Whore are veil ?'*

Thero was no ucpon'-e the familiar bark was not heard, nor did a scamper of feet give evidorce of Jock's presenc'. '• Haigreaves, what the devil's wrong with van?" demanded the Colonel. anxiously. C'arctice fell on lr"s knees beside the hole exclaiming as he dug with his hands—

"Look, sir—look!" \Vc all drew near . - There on the irronnd was r. tiny piece of fur—and lb it was all. , - Poor old Jock!" murmured Boboy Bilks, The C.O exploded regret, but I think I saw him sigh contcntedlj as he i uriicd away. ■| wonder what son of life .Took led?'' Bay.

Clarence was glad, but the CO. seemed to be upset when, on returnto the mess, we saw Jock sublimely asleep in front of the fire. "It must have been a rabbit T bW ui)." c'erfully exclaimed Clarence. No doubt it was! LIT AS CAPPE.