WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 185, 23 June 1916, Page 3 (Supplement)

WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.

WHAT IT MEANS TO A MAX. By BEATRICE HEKON-MAXWEM,. (the neil-known Novelist and Thinker.) A chain is not stronger than its weakest link, and the test for n man's character is often the amount and qualitA of his susceptibility to a woman's influence. Is it a good tiling or a deplorable one that women seldom realise the extent of their power to sway men—that men hardly ever acknowledge it in words, though their deeds tell an eloquent taie to those who are ready of understanding? There may be many women in a man's life appealing to spasmodicmoods, or different phases of his nature, emotional, psychical or artistic: but as a rule there is only one who can dominate, to make him or to break bun.

Take a proud man in any wa'U nf life, with ambition in his s:>ul, on which li-> keeps a tight rein, fearing to fall short of success, distrusting the wisdom of quitting beaten and obvious tracks to which duty may point, disbelieving other men who urge him on. yet suffering from tlm ache of unused faculties that instinct says arc latent in him. and give this man as the sharer of lis daily life, or occasional leisure hours, a woman who dors not reach or touch this inner mind of his hidden beneath the surface crust of his reticence. The u<ual result ,s atrophy. He continues to stifle the promptings that who disregards. But let him meet the woman—wife or relative or friend—who sees his capabilities and talents, who longs to Pet his feet on the higher rungs of the ladder, who burns with eager vaulting hope for his triumph and weaves ill fancy a laurel wreath for his adornment, and von can watch him soar on wings fashioned for him by her influence.

Her belief in him gives him faith in himself; her keenness fires him with enthusiasm, her demand for the gift of his whole self and what it can accomplish impels him to draw her onwards and upwards with him towards the stars.

Browning was cognisant of this when he wrote —

Oh! I must feel your soul prompt mine, Your heart anticipate my heart: You must b e just before, in line See, and make me see, for your part Now depths of the Divine.

The woman who wields the guiding sceptre must be heart-whole in her grasp of it; there can be no hallmeasures, no mean or mercenary motives, and she must let him know, once she has drawn him into the radius of her magnetic personality, that he matters to her.

There are few men who wi'l ask a woman's interest in their career, or dwell much on it to her, unless they are eerta'n by sure signs that she wants to share'its hopes and fears, and is most desirous of their confidence about it. . if she has love to give him, and 11 love is part of what he seeks from her, she should make him certain that lie possesses her heart and counts above all other men to her. She can tell him this by words or I.alt-words, or even silences; she can express "it in all her ways and works, and he, understanding, will be comforted. There is a fallacious creed held by anv women that a man must bo kept in'ignorance of how much lie means to her. She welcomes him sparingly or not at all: she treats him coldly to rouse in him the spirit of the chase. Once, twice or thrice he may lie stimulated to pass this barrier, and lUs ardour may be fanned to a flame warm enough to induce miitcal sympathy, I,ut soon ho tires of this effort, and, slackening, gradually drifts away. Even if intuiton tells him -he has been counting the moments to his advent, lie shunts the thought, and deceits that he is weary of thawing a laver of ice every time.

Nor should she try to rouse his jealousy as a spur to his regard for 'her men with strong I'edings objecting'to run in competition. That other°nien see'.* her out ifi no drawback, but that she reciprocate* their sense of attradion is intolerable. Again, she is at fault when she criticises him blamel'iilly or nags at him, or keeps referring to past opportunities lie has misused or lost. Her influence should include praiise—why not'r He probably desires it from few people, having his own standard of personal merit, and is unconscious of needing it fro her: nevertheless, the knowledge that she appreciates the best in him. realises the obstacle* in bis path ami the difficulties created by hi., own temperament, and will commend him with nice discrimination when hoovercomes them, proves sweet to him and makes a green oasis in a de>ert of arid toil.

Ami she should chime in with his mood,-. When he return- to her presence tired, workworn. depressed, or antrorcd from steady opposition he has coped with, she should take him gradually, delicately, tactfully, wooing him by easy unobtrusive softnesses to a reteptive frame of mine, and, having >o -oothod him, give him of her best.

So. whether or not her own state of mind is equable, the effort to attune it to harmony with him will benefit herself and bring its own reward, while every time it will establish her illilui nee' more siire'v over his heart and I 10.

He will In' phul of Iht tondor prido in him. and svinpalhv, and it' t>> this she adds real 'love, ho will l>o pladder j»till. There is -iiiroro and sinjilo-niiiu!-id low Hi' several kind-, and cadi has il- value: luit tlic one preat pasion that imhidi - thorn al l is a parnniount factor in his career. I!i' may hatiish it n'topether in h:wiiik. thi' heart '" aheyanee to iho hiain; hut it is a perincv-tinp sm-o and force that 10-cs none of j-tn-njitli while it is doramnt. Winn a man has found tin- woman who appoals to every emotion in him he is eaper in respond to c\ory emot,,n in her, and his pleasure in so doinp i„ enhanced infinitely hy knowinp that their approach is mutual in its happiness. One illicit worthily paraphrase il:e slvlv mischievous savin;; of a nmderii writ.'i', nn women, intended as a del.h-i.i-aU' casus In Hi hclween the nexir.: "There arc no pood women -on!\ women Jut have lived w ilh IJood men. and make il "There are no irood men dii'v men who have hecn milium .d hy -,,0,1 women." Ciood ill hotll tle-e Pases i., an adjective of far wider s:--iiifieaiice than that of mere non-coin-mittal nl certain ill \l;:i1 or immoral acfons, and. outside the ntviv-arily restricted field of conventional inoralitv is all-omhraeiup. The Kroneh know wi II and freely admit this in the recommendation when a man .-. conduct ',< ill qn istion : "Cherehez la iVninie'" Mm an- all in the arena now fiphtinp f )i- someihinp or nnothi r. and each needs a woman's pape t !l strengthen his power of stnyinp or sm tine;. There need nol h' too many pnsicK to

go round, for feminine influence is variou >aiul emanates from the mother, the sister, the wife, the daughter, tho sweetheart, and. above all, the ideal woman, whatever place she fills.

The women who make unpleasant history stand out in bolder relief than those who have influenced great and noble actions in nu-ii: but those who play unon the strengtn ot a man's mind and heart to make discord instead of elody, who have fretted away the weak link m a man's, life chain, have a reckoning to pay in the fulness of time.

Of them it will never be said: •'The nations rise up and call her blov>ed!" If there are women in England now, of unblurred British descent, who have been influencing the r men against supreme and unswerving loyally to the truest interests of the Empire, let them take heed h>t they fa"; they are building their houses upon sand, "•'or when the heal of the I ray is pa-t they w'll see these purblind men with clearer vision, past, present and future. and will feel a sick d sgust at their own weakness, and the treacherous, pernicious, selfish strength that has traded upon it. While the women who have magnetised tiie who'e chain into solidtiy can •• lift their hands serenely in the sunshine as before."