TUAKAU.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 169, 28 April 1916, Page 1

TUAKAU.

TUAKAU SCHOOL ELECTION. (Contributed. ,( Well," siz Hinnissoy, "Oi see yez waked the ould school agiu wid yez elictioiis." "We did," siz Dooley, "an' a gran' toime we had of it. It remoinded me of the day whin O'Grady's bull dog chased Murphy's pig into the Prisbytayerian Church whin the congregation was_ jict comin' out,— they scathered in a hurry. And so did the Northites whin the Southerners had finished wid thim. Th' preleeminery skirmishes had taken place on th' King's hoighway all the day. an' whin both parties gathered their resarves in that noight ivirything pointed to a foine scrap. The Law, riprh-inted by Willyum Jeames, had bin thryiu' to impriss on th' voters th' solium dooty of votin' as he wanted. One tkirmisher early in th' day invaded the Southern territory armed wid a tirrible tale, but no damage waa done wid it, an' it was thrown away for another weapon. Well, all th' ould milk carts were out that noight bringing up th' resarves, and iviry foighter was pushed into th' foirin' loine. Th' Southerners had an automobile a tearin' up an' down th' roads, an' good wurruk it did, too. There were some great argymints outsoide'the ould building. 'Be jabers,' exclaimed Pat, ' ye have all th' Maoris from th' Heads to Mercer here.' ' An' yez have all the Austhrians yez could collict,' siz a doughty southerner. ' One for yez,' siz Pat. Both sides got off the mark whin the cheeirman cried 'Go.' Drugs as usual refereed f'r the Northerners, an' th' man who raises fat bullicks f'r the Southerners There was no chance of u boite at a san'wich this year Hinnissey, as we had only mustard there. Th' Northerners had a great mixture in their foirin' lome. Shure, there was Publicans an' Parsons, Spokes an' Toires, Sthrawberries an' Sthamps, Bonedust an' Han'kerchiefs. Railways an' Lan' Agints, Boots an' Saddles, Saleyards an' Orchards; but 'twas no use, f'r th' Southerners were too furrumly intrinched, an' were as solid as th' Frinch at Verdun, an' th' iniuiy retoired, leayin' behoind thim innumerable argymints on th' field of battle, which the victors gathered in as spoils of war."

" An' what is goin to happen now to the ould school," siz Hinnissey. " Wait an' see," siz Dooley.