THE KAISER'S DREAM.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 159, 28 March 1916, Page 4

THE KAISER'S DREAM.

(From an Exchange. There's a story now current, though strange it may seem, Of the great Kaiser Bill and a wonderful dream, Being tired of the Allies he laid down in bed, And, amongst other things, he dreamt he was dead And in a fine coffin was lying in state, With a guard of brave Belgians who mourned for his fate. He wasn't loDg dead till ho found to his cost That his soul like his soldiers would ere long be lost. On leaving this earth to heaven he went straight; Arriving up there gave a knock at the gate, But Saint Peter looked out, and in a voice loud and clear I Said, " Begone, Kaiser Bill, we don't want you here.'" " Well," said the Kaiser, " that's rather uncivil; I suppose after that I must go to the Devil." So he turned on his heel and away he did go At the top of his speed to regions below. But when he got there he was tilled with dismay, lor while waiting outside he heard Old Nick say To his imps, " Now, look heie, boys, I give you all warning, I'm expecting the Kaiser down here in the morning, But dou't let him in, for to me it's ijuite clear He's a very bad man, and we don't

want him liure. 11' once lie gets in there'll bo 110 end of quarrels; In fact, I'm afraid lio'll corrupt our good morals." " Uli, Satan, dear friend," the Kaiser

then cried, " Excuse me for listening while waiting outside. If you don't admit me, say. where can I go." " Indeed," said the devil, " I really don't know." " Oh, do let me in, I am feeling quite cold, And if you want money I've plenty of gold ; Let me sit in a corner, 110 matter how hot,"

"No, no," said the Devil, "most certainly not; Wo don't admit folks hero for riches

and pelf. Here arc sulphur and matchesmake a Hell for yourself." Then he kicked Wilhelm out aud he vanished in smoke, And just at that moment tho Kaiser

awoko. He jumped from his bed in a shiver

ing sweat And said, " Well, that's a dream I shall never forget. That I won't go b Heaven I know very well, But it's really too bad to be kicked OUt of 11E1.L."

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