A MOTHER'S EXCUSE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 5, Issue 147, 18 February 1916, Page 1 (Supplement)

A MOTHER'S EXCUSE.

Dr. Macnamara is very fond of telling anecdotes concerning school children of the poorer class. In his book, "Schoolroom Humour," he gives many unconsciously humorous letters from fathers and mothers excusing the.r boys' non-attendance at school. Perhaps the gem of the bunch is the following from a mother to the master i " Please, stir, Jonnie was kep home to-day. I have had twins. It shall t oicur again. Yours truly " R.A.M.C. Officer (who is applying dressing to wounded soldier and is in the act of pinning same): "Let me know if th's pin sticks in you, won't you?" Wounded Soldier (sotto voce) : " Yes, sir; I'll drop you a postcard." "They are making cart-wheels out of paper now," remarked Mrs. T., as she looked up from her newspaper. "Yes." replied her husband, "and locomotives, too." "You don't say so!" "Certainly. Have voiiynever heard of stationary engines?" "Yes, they are excellent boots," said the shoe dealer to the young lady purchase!-. "They will wear like iron." " Do you think the buttons are sewn on securely?" she asked. "They are. The boots are supplied with the old maid's wedding' button— 1 a new invention." " Why is it called the 'old maid's wedd tig' button?" " Because it never comes off.''

ALL RIGHT. Customer: "I tell you frankly that I cannot pay for this suit until jiext year." Tailor: "All right, sir." Customer: "When will it be finished?" Tailor: "Next year, sir!"