"SMITHAGRAMS."

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 87, 24 September 1915, Page 1 (Supplement)

"SMITHAGRAMS."

STORIES OF SIR F. E. SMITH. Quickness of repartee is one of the most notable characteristic; of Sir F. E. Smith, who has succeeded Sir Stnnl.'v Buekmaster as Solicitor-General in the new British Cabinet. His epigrams are legion, while his biting humour has made many an opponent writhe. He once commented on Mr. Gladstone's passion for elaborate exposition. "Mr. Gladstone," he said, "carries lucidity almost to the verge of baldness." And he thus referred to the doith duties : "One section of the community lives to enjoy o'd-age pensions; the other has to die to pay them."

A certain member had been returned as a Unionist, and when the House assembled had immediately crossed the Honr without seeking re-election. "He entered the House," said Mr. Smith, with quiet sarcasm, "not on the crest of the wave, but rather by means of an opportune dive. Everyone in the House must appreciate his presence, for there could be no greater compliment paid to it than that he should be in our midst, when his heart is far away. And it should be obvious to all who know the honourable gentleman's scrupulous tense of honour that his one desire at present is to be among his constituents, who arc understood to be at least as anxious to meet him." The Solicitor-General once made an amusing remark about his friend, Mr. Churchill. The latter, as Under-Secre-tary for the Co'onies, was engaged in " mothering " some small Government measure. " There are many more ways of addling a political egg." sn.id the member for Walton, "than by giving it to an Under-Secretary to sit upon." On another occasion he was addressing a meeting in connection with a b;ve'e. tion, and was holding forth on Tariff Reform. "What about our food?" was the insistent question of a man at the back. At length Sir F. E. Smith could stand it no longer. Calmly he turned towards his interrupter, and said, sweetly, "You need not have any concern. sir; no one lias ever proposed to put a tax on thistles. Your food will be quite saifo."