PUKEKOHE'S MOCK COURT.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 62, 28 July 1915, Page 2

PUKEKOHE'S MOCK COURT.

A Successful Function.

Thorough success attended the Mock Court beld last evening in the Premier Uall, Pukekohe, in aid of the Wounded Soldiers' tund, the building housing a crowded assembly and the proceedings being distinctly amusing. Although several of the "offenders" whose names appeared on .the calendar, failed to face the ordeal of u trial the indictment list was nevertheless lengthy and the Coutt did not rise until 11 p.m. Prior to the start, selections were discoursed by the Pukekohe Town Band outside the hall and prior to the raising of the curtain the Band played the National Anthem within the building.

The stage was fitted up in orthodox Btyle as a Court of Justice, the Bench being occupied by "His Honour Judge" Gribble. Other officials were as follows: Registrar, Mr J. P. Asher; Crown Persecutors, Messrs F. Brown and B. H. Andrew; Defending Counsel, Mr Lakeman; Inspector of Police, Mr Berriman; t'olicemen, Messrs L. Brown and W. Adams; Court Crier, Mr Ovcy Bilkey. The Jury consisted of a bevy of "charming" Suffragettes, rejoicing in the cognomens of Sylvia Spanklirbt (forjwoman), Amy Bock, Bridget McSweeney, Harriet Bluebell and Florence McDougall. Mr Gribble as the Judge was full of witicism, always austere and digniiied, filling the role with eminent ability.

Some capital by-play was aho introduced by the "fair" members of the Jury. After the Judge had taken his seat "Kaiser Bill," whose costume bore a huge iron cross, appeared and speaking in broken English claimed that he intended to be tha ruler of New Zealand. He was promptly arrested and rushed into the dock, being sentenced by His Honour to imprisonment for life. At the close, Mr A. B. Barter, who had been himself fined earlier in the evening, Etepped on t) the platform and suggested that as acts of groaß miscarriage of justice bad been committed the whole of the Court officials should be fined. His proposal was adopted by the audience and Mr Barter then inflicted a fine of £1 on Mr Andrew as the organiser cl' the Court, and 5s each on all the other officials. The financial statement of fines and admission money will be published in due tours". The following were some of the indictments laid, on which convictions were recorded: -

P. Boyd, dentist: Always looking duwn in the mouth.

S. Clews: Causing a collision by running Hall street into King street.

D. Blakf, blacksmith: Forgery and vice.

U. McLean: Failing to pay lor a marriage license

D. K. Hamilton: Being a cockatoo without feathers and putting balls stuns (Holeteins) out on the grass. Iv£.n Motion: Foresaking the simple life of a farmer and entering the Council. A. B. Barter, president of the Rowling Club: Kissing a youug lady named Kitty in a public place. H. Beriidge: Failing to go to the Front. W. P. Hopkins: Casting the Clad Eye. Wm. Moore: Cruelty to vegetables by cutting the heads off cabbSKCB. W. Coster, pnstmaster: Dealing in infernal machines—to vit, telephones. John Bowden : Instead of having acetylene gas on his premises having a set of lean horses. C. Cl-rke, Pukekoho Hotel: Casuing an obstruction in the street by preaching temperance. H. Bockett, banker: Rogue and vagabond, without visible means of support. J. Coady: Lightening the darkness by means of a searchlight to the discomiiture of loveie. P. Miller: Working excessive hours 011 bis farm contrary to the Spud Growers' Union. H. u. R. Mason: Using undus influennce to secure election as Mayor by holding himself out to be a mason. W. Townson, chemist: Selling noxious drugs. F. Hubbard: Cruelty to a dog by starving it (vida Fairy Tale) and drilling turnips instead of the National Reserve. John Hart: Cruelty to animals by shotting pheasants on the wing. W. Wilson: Ringing himself in at the big shoot at Te Kuiti. Peter Aranui, a Maori: Bigamy. H. A. Stewart: Being a spieler and guesser and a frequenter of racjcourses. Bert Clark: Cutting a man's hair behind his back. Sergeant Fred Marshall: Haviug the audacity to leave the district to join a Reinforcement Uraft ot the Expeditionary Force. James Kennelly: Being found with his face blackened and dres»d in disguise, with a felonious intent.—The prisoner waa placed in the dock wearing handcuffs. James Ready: Neglecting to s:nd his children to school.

It. Brownlee: Seeking to escape enlistment by suggesting he was under 6 feet in height. L. J. May ley: Attempting to iliit with the Jury. Fred Lucas: Allowing two of his sons to light for the British Empire.

M. Mclntyrc: Being married on the same day as bia wife. F. Perkins: Selling bread containing ingredients contrary to the Statute.—Upon a sample loaf being cut tpco by the Judge it was found to contain a brick in order to add to its weight. F. W. Mountjoy: Collecting beer and whisky corka. Walter Johns: KcfUEing to pet out of the Borough ot i'ukekohe. Robt. Fulmn: Driving from Pukekohe to bia home at Puni with his horse tail first' in the shafts.

J. Fricdlander: Making discordant noises by attempting to sing. F. Pearce: Forming fours at the National Reserve.