WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 3, Issue 261, 31 December 1914, Page 1

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

There are few things more provoking to the average individual than to be "cut" by an acquaintat ce. According to latest authority, we have it that there are four sorts of "cute." There ia the "cut direct," which coneista in staring an acquaintance in the face and pretending not to know him; then comes the "cut rirect" when you look another nay, and, of course, have not seen him; the "cut sublime," when the top of aome tall edifice or the clouds of heaven maku an iireeiatibla appeal to you; and lastly, the "cut infernal," when you sioup and adjust your bcot until the person has gone past. Some jnuDg brides take the mar.ied state seriously indeed, and little Mrs Nixon is of that order. She was not a good cook, acd she kne* it, but after marriage she studied at a cookery-class to duch good effect tbat in due course she carried off a diploma. * "Yes," sh3 said enthusiastically that evening; "I've got the loveliest diploma. It's on sheepekiu parchment, with a big red seal. And just in honour cf the occasion I cooked that dish you're eating now. It's my own idea entirely. Now, just you guess what it is!"

Nixon went on masticating in silence fur a moment, ihen he looked up with a wry grin. "1 don't know," he said, knowingly. "Is it--er— is it the diploma?"

Dr Cavers gives an interesting illustration of the strength of the toadstool:

"Some years ago," he lays, "the main streets of Basingstoke were paved with large stones, and a few months later the pavement showed an unevenness which could not easily be accounted for at first. The mystery was soon explained, for some of the heaviest stones, weighing over eighty pounds, were completely lifted out of their bed of cement by tbe growth of large toadstools below them, and it became necessary to repave the town.' From "The Book of Nature Study."

Sunday school teacher: "What waa Adam's punishment for eating tbe forbidden fruit, Johnnie?" Johnnie (confidently): "He bad to marry Eve."

When the Grand Duke Alexis of Russia visited America with bis imposing snite, one of the places to which the Russians went was out west for a buffalo hunt. The hunt was held in South Dakota, and Colonel Hatch, of the army, was assigned to take the party in charge and do the honours. Russians except the Cossacks, are none too good when it comes to horsemanship, and this information was conveyed to Colonel Hatch, with the request that some mild and gentle steeds be procured for the visitors for tne hunt. Hatch did the best he could with tbe army mounts, and tbe cavalcade started from Fort Robinson. Tbe leaders rode slowly. It was a long and imposing procession. Just as Hatch was congiatulating himself that everything was going nicely, bis orderly rode up from tbe rear, saluted, and said: "Beg pardon, Colonel, but one of them kings has fallen off."