HUMOUR.

Putaruru Press, Volume VII, Issue 311, 24 October 1929, Page 1

HUMOUR.

A Perilous Position. “.Yes,” said the colonel, when honouring the officers’ mess with a story of hie—more youthful and adventurous days, “ the beast of prey was stalking me through the dense African jungle. Suddenly I had the misfortune to catch my foot in a creeper, and fell headlong. The animal was not slow in noting my perilous position, and when within two yards the monster crouched ready to spring.” At this point the colonel was interrupted by his butler, announcing a telephone ring; and two seconds later he was marching down the hall to the telephone.

On his return he continued: “ Let me see. I was telling you about ” . “ About your most perilous position,” prompted an officer. “ You had just about reached the anti-climax.” “ Oh, of course,” said the colonel. “ Well, boys, while her infuriated husband was demanding an entrance at the front door I slipped her quietly out at the rear and made for the club; and her husband never so much as suspected that she had dined with me there.”

Defined. A man went into his office one day, smiling contentedly and looking altogethei very happy. His partner asked him what had happened to make him so cheerful. “ Why,” he answered, “ any man would be happy if his xvife had said to him what my wife /aid to me this morning. She told md I was a model husband. Now, isn’t that something to make a man cheerful ? ” “ Oh, I don’t know,” replied the partner somewhat pessimistically. “ It aii depends on what she really meant,” and tie took a dictionary from the shelf and read the following description : “ Model : A small imitation of the real thing.” Doing His Bit. Pat had purchased a chicken-house and had asked two of his friends to help him carry it home. When they had gone half the distance the owner asked Mick where Mike was. To this Mick replied that he did not know. Then a voice cam® from inside the chick-house. It s alright, I’m inside carrying the perches.”