Golf.

Putaruru Press, Volume VII, Issue 304, 5 September 1929, Page 8

Golf.

KOHN CUP. During the week the semi-finalists in the Kohn Cup competition met, when Edmonds beat Barnett, 1 up. The final between Edmonds and Dulceson resulted in Dukeson winning 5 and 4. The cup was won outright by Dukeson, who was warmly congratulated on his win. MONTHLY COMPETITION. The September medal was won by W. Morse, 106—32, 74.

HONE ON GOLF. “Ever played golf, Hone?” we asked our genial copper-coloured old friend as he eyed a bag of clubs lying in the corner of the sanctum. “No, I dunno pout tis—what you call gouph—golloph.” No, Hone, golf—g-o-l-f. Hone then handled each club and seemed puzzled. What te use tis ting, anyhow ? What you do wit it ? We then explained the uses of the various clubs and showed Hone the little ball which was used and informed him that the player who sped it on its way to the various holes with the least number of strokes was the winner.

Hone gazen at the outfit and said: Py kripe ! You pakeha pheller te baly rimit. You show te Maori now play billiard, snooker, pool, cricket, football and two-up wit te pennies—tat te best game ana te fastest run I ever make when te bobby chase me! Now you got te noo game, te werry silly game—hit te little ball and chase it all round te paddock,” and Hone laughed uproariously. We explained that the game was played by both sexes and provided healthy exercise. Te wahine play too ? said Hone, becoming interested. Just like football eh! Te fullback, te treequarter, te half, te forward, te scrum, te goal post, te barrack and te bally row wit te referee ? Oh, no, Hone. Nothing like that. We then endeavoured to enlighten Hone as to the method of play and the technical terms. When we referred to the “ tee,” Hone’s eyes glistened. Tat werry good! Every time you put te ball in te hole you drink te tea and haf te kai—kapai! kapai! Tat te pheller—l tink I play te gofr! We had to disabuse Rone’s reflections in this connection, likewise his suggestion that beer should be substituted for tea! Hone’s sudden outburst of enthusiasm for the game then cooled. Casually he asked:

What te ooniform te player wear? We got as far as mentioning a jersey, which Hone confused with a cow, and he wanted to know what part this gentile bovine took in the game.

We substituted “ pull-over ” for “ jersey ” and got on to “ plus fours.” The mention of these nether garments tickled Hone immensely. Now I know. All te same te pakeha wahine wear te short skirt—to show te skinny leg. Tat it. Only te man and wahine wit te skinny leg play goff. No good to Hone—hapai football. Haera ra! Mitta Edita!