ARAPUNI DAM.

Putaruru Press, Volume VI, Issue 268, 24 December 1928, Page 4

ARAPUNI DAM.

(To the Editor). Sir, —I notice that Mr. J. A. Young, M.P. has asked that a report be made on the stability of the Arapuni dam, which being interpreted; means that he desires Sir Ward to make enquiries as to why 1 Mr. Young and his colleagues in the Coates Cabinet did not do their job. Further, I have noticed that the otherwise-astute citizens of Hamilton, Morrinsville and other suburbs of Putaruru have been betraying a sense of uneasiness that shows they fear they may be washed away in a night through the busting of Arapuni dam. Now, sir, to allay the fears of the aforesaid suburbanites, and to prevent any further mental gymnastics by the previously-mentioned member which might possibly result in him losing his seat, I have decided to publish, per medium of your excellent journal, the exclusive and authentic information, as to how these rumours, which cause Morrinsviileites and others to have so many sleepless nights, first gained credence, j," They arose, sir, simply because Mr, j Yokum, a worthy New Zealand work-. man, got piqued. In the first place Yokum is not a foreign name, as some might think. It is dinkum British, and derived from a Bolshevik word which means “ yoke ’em in and pull their legs.” Here is the story. Yokum got a job at Arapuni and set out for Putaruru. Upon arrival he immediately repaired to Leggatt’s as is the won’t of such good workmen. He called for a long-’un and then said “ ditto re . peato ” several times. At the fifth he leaned confidentially on the counter and confided the information to mine host that he had “ come to build the dam.” He volunteered a lot of information that he knew about dambuilding—and also, unconsciously, a lot that he didn’t know. The day

wore on. At the 25th a raucous voice was heard calling: “ Now, gents, please.” This was repeated falsetto and staccato as a kind of obligato right down the bar. It was the usual intimation that the hour was two minutes to six by the hotel clock, ten minutes by the police, and any old time by the post office. Suddenly, weighed down by the responsibilities of his job, Yokum prepared to depart. Before doing so he proffered a favour: “ Givusa couple obottlesoldsport.” The old sport, however, was not sporty just then, “You wont?” came the surprised cry. “ No,” was the blunt answer. Stupid rumination followed for a few seconds. Then came in indignent tones the terrible sentence which has caused fear to spread throughout the Lower Waikato: “ Then go and build your blanky dam yourself.” That is the simple tale, sir, and having scotched this rumour I hope that from now on the member for Hamilton may find it unnecessary to ask for enquiries into his own actions, and that Lower Waikatoites may rest in peace o’ nights.—l am, sir, Yours Indubitably, R. U. MOUR.