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Poverty Bay Standard, Volume I, Issue 115, 25 April 1884, Page 3

“ Yes,” said the captain of an ocean steamship, “we had a very expensive trip this time. Very little sea ‘sickness; passengers ate frightfully.” “ Alas F’ said a moralising bachelor, within earshot of a witty young lady of the company. “ this world is at best but a gloomy prison !” “ Yes,” sighed the merciless minx “ especially to the poor creatures doomed to solitary confinement!” Raw oysters are recommended as a marvellous cure for a cold. Ah, ah ! That’s the reason why men who are kept out until after midnight are so fond of them, then. Robinson’s fair daughters have taken the aesthetic nonsense deeply to heart. One recently inquired for furniture covering, “ Something with a distinct individuality—but lather—subdued and—pensive—with a—dash of pathos and suggestion of infinite tenderness.” “ You can do anything if you have patience” said an old uncle, who had made a fortune, to his nephew, who had nearly spent one. Water may be carried in a sieve, if you only wait,” “ How long ?” asked the petulant spendthrift, who was impatient for the old man’s death. “ Till it freezes.” Dr. Price, the so-called Druid, who burned the body of his illegitimate child in a tar barrel, was tried at the Glamorganshire Assizes on the 15th February, and acquitted. The indictment charged him, first, with having wilfully and unlawfully attempted to bum and utterly to dispose of the body of his male child, at Llantrissant, well knowing that the coroner for the district intended holding an inquest the next day into the cause of its death; and secondly, that having the necessary means, he neglected to decently bury the child. The facts were not denied, and Price’s defence was rendered specially fantastic by his production on the dock of a little foxskin hat and a crooked stick. Mr. Justice Stephen, no doubt reluctantly, declared thst cremation was not a legal offence, and he could not take upon himself to define a new crime. The questions for the jury were merely whether Price had committed a nuisance, and whether he was guitty under the second count of the indictment. On the first count the jury could not agree, and on the second they brought in a verdict of “Not guilty.”