A TEETOTAL FAMILY.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume XI, Issue 1270, 8 February 1883, Page 2

A TEETOTAL FAMILY.

Twat even so stern un Inotitution as total abstinence has it humorous al de is demonstrated by the recent.family experiences of a young Palatinate German vho emigrated in order to join hio uncle, aURit and eouoins, prosperous settles near Las-caster, in the State of Pennsylvania. During his first meal at his kinsman's table lie observed that wine and beer were conspicuous by their absence, while teeming water bottles were, so to speak, plainly visible to the naked eye. An attempt on his part to comment upon this uncouvivial circumstance was cut short by the remark, "We are all temperance, folk hare ; no spirituous liquors enter this qouse !” After dinner the “ old man ” went upstairs to take a snooxe, the girls started off to the Sunday-school, and the boys lounged away to smoke in the stable. As soan as “ aunty ” fonnd herself alone in the kitehen, ehe summoned her yoUt’aful nephew thither, extracted a bottle of eh'jrrybounee from a dark nook in one of the cupboards and held it nut to him saying, Here sonny, take a drink ; my old man is such a strict teetotailrr that I don’t dare tn let him know I keep a d-.op of the right sort to use meeioiually." A few minutes lata’r the head of the ilamily called his nephew, up to his bed-roonf, where he produced a gallon jar of whiskv from a portmanteau under the bed, and pouring out a handsome dram observed, Teetotallmg don’t prevent me from keeping some decent stuff in case of illness ; bnt mmd you don’t let on to the old woman I" Strolling into the stables, shortly after this second surprise, his cousins beckoned the inganious immigrant into a barn, where after some fumbling adout in the straw for a few seconds, they handed him a black bottle, with the encouraging words, •• Take a pull that cousin ; right Bourbon it is ; but not a word to the old folks, for two more infatuated teetotallers don’t live ?"