THE ROAD TO THE WAIROA RACES.

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume X, Issue 1243, 10 January 1883, Page 2

THE ROAD TO THE WAIROA RACES.

FROM OUR SOMNOLENT REPORTER, (By Pigeon Express.) Waihoi' Lakes, 2 p.m. Arrived thus far safe. Only got spilled five times, but the horse is a very knowing one, and was particularly careful to request me to alight on soft ground, When requested to get off by the horse I did so, as he acted very high spiritedly, and discovering that he was high-toned I came down to my proper level. However I may here advise you that the road is not level, as before 1 got down properly I got a bump on the left shoulder, and felt it. The contractor had evidently left raised a particular lump for me to come to grief over, and I did so. Of course I went to sleep. I had suddenly to awake as a lot of horsemen came thundering along. Some of them were anxious to know if I had any olive oil or fuller’s earth concealed about my person, but as I was not the happy possessor of these very necessary things when riding from Gisborne to Wairoa, I could not supply them.

from Gisborne to Wairoa, I could not supply them. I told them I had come to mofAer ear/A often enough on my passage, but had no knowledge of “ fuller’s earth”, and as I had little or no hJr to grease—between you and I being barefooted on the top of my head—--1 was not in the habit of carrying oil. They passed on. Waihou Lakes, 2.20 p.m. I slept calmly for a few minutes, when a well-known metallioian came to grief close alongside of where I was reclining. As far as the horseman was concerned, he, like myself, had failed to secure a preserved seat. Anyhow we came to the same conclusion that a smoke under the circumstances would be about the best thing to be done. We smoked, and as dear old Ted happened to have a bottle of milk in his pocket, which had survived the cropper he nad received, consequently we drank. “How long do you think it will take us to get the Wairoa ? ’ said Ted, and I replied “ About twenty years at this pace, if we keep sitting here drinking milk. ” “Well,” he said, “Ivhat about making another start ?” “For where?” I asked. “ For the Wairoa races of course. What on earth did you come out for ?” “ Well,” I said, “If you want to really know the truth, it was just to watch a few of you ‘Johnny Gilpins ’ riding along the road.” Ted was disgusted, and said “ Well, I’m off, whether you like it or not,” and afterwards, with some trouble, having regained his seat, he remarked, “ Farewell, good bye my sleepy one, &o. ” ’ ‘ Once more I slumbered. Waihou Lakes, 2.30 p.m. I suddenly was awakened by hearing a well know, voice which stated simply In coutif/uer: zvn .es in tenteqa ona tenebant," Waking up and wiping my sleepy eyes, I looked at a—well you would hardly believe it—a schoolmaster. As to whether the Domine had charge, or as to whether the horse had the best of it, I know not, but I’ll lay xIOOO to a postage stamp that the rider of the steed will feel more comfortable when giving a boy a hiding after the last Monday of the present month, than at receiving the hiding, or perhaps “ skinning ” would be the better word, he was getting yesterday. Still he stuck to the pigskin, but he was so busily engaged in doing it as to almost jump over me, without even saying “Will you come down to Page's,” or anything else. When I hailed him he, or rather the horse, stopped. He beat the horse on the post by fully ten yards, but unfortunately for himself, he beat a hole in the clay which offers an opportunity for some clever sculptor to secure for his studia a magnificent mould of a head and face showing an immense amount of brain power, in addition to a peculiarly attractive face. Waihou Lakfs, 3 p.m. A teetotal publican has just passed. I asked him for a slight refreshment, but he, like Rip Van Winkle, had “swore off, and 1 was left uncomfortable and lamenting ; but suddenly the genial “James,” who lives at Roseland, passed along. . Jimmy asked me what I was doing ; and I told him straight out that I had started for the races, but had got full of it. Jimmy whisped quietly in my ear that he was mighty thankful for the rest, and the , fact of having some one to talk to, quietly produced a bottle of soda water, and the pair of us wished the Wairoa—well, not far enough off, because it was far enough off already. Over the glass of soda water James informed me that he would give a fiver to have a feather pillow between himself and the saddle, and I firmlj’ believe he was stating truth. I thought I w’as uncomfortable enough, but I’m satisfied he was more so. Several times I slept, and at last I thought I would put for home, and when I get there I’ll be happy. [Private Memo.—Feed the birds.]