LADIES’ EXPRESS'

Poverty Bay Standard, Volume III, Issue 215, 21 October 1874, Page 2

LADIES’ EXPRESS'

[The Editor will be glad to give insertion to any local contributions from his lady friends that may be considered interesting in the family circle, or to the sex generally.]

PARTING.

It is, methinks, a grievous thing From those we love, to part; The sad, the mortal severing Of heart from kindred heart! A wound, affection deeply feels, E’en when our hope is strong, And half the bosom’s torture heals, That we may meet ere long. But, oh ! ’tis death to bid farewell, When we and lov’d ones sever To part, and meet we cannot tell, Or when—or where —if ever. BULLYING LADIES. (Liberal Review) The person who has been brought fairly face to face with a lady bully will, in nine cases out of ten, most certainly decline to believe in the alleged feebleness of whal is facetiously styled the weaker sex. Indeed, it is highly probable that he will be confirmed in a previously held opinion that many ladies are intellectually more aggressive as well as more pertinacious in the obtaining of their own way than are their masculine counterparts. As a rule, an old fogy is disposed to take things easily, so long as he is not exposed to emphatic contradiction. While foud of “ laying down the law ” to his juniors he is in the habit of doing so in a heavy, ponderous, and good-humoured manner, which is not altogether disagreeable. He placidly assumes his own superiority, and as long as this is not combated he is content with occasionally, reminding other people of their inferiority to himself, doing so in a gracious fashion which indicates that he believes the inferiority to be owing to no fault of theirs. His neighbour’s affairs do not much concern him. and consequently, unless impelled by his innate egotism, he fails to talk about them to any great extent; indeed, almost the only time he does descant upon them is when he is desirous of advancing his own importance in the eyes of onlookers. Under these circumstances it is not surprising that it is the easiest matter in the world to maintain the most amicable relations with him. Not one being so easy to bamboozle as a vain person, lie is generally easily twisted round one’s finger as one chooses, and while he is doing precisely as one has been working in order to make him perform, he may be led to the conclusion that he is acting entirely of his free will and completely in accordance with the dictates of his own judgment. Notwithstanding all this he is supposed to belong to the stronger sex, by which the world is often irritably stated to be ruled. The lady bully is a being of very different mettle, and tactics which may be successfully employed against the old fogy are useless when she is in question. She is not satisfied with considering herself among the salt of the earth, which she does in a very strong degree; it is not enough for her to be left in peace to grow fat upon her self-conceit. She seems to deem it her duty to claim an enormous amount of credit for herself, and at the same time, to be continually exposing the weaknesses and foibles of her neighbours. She possesses the remarkable talent of being able to see through things almost as dense as stone walls, and prides herself upon her habit of saying precisely what she thinks. Naturally it is disagreeable to have much to do with her, and so people who value peace and quietness may be recommended to shun her company so far as lies in their power. In the matter of temper she is what is described as uncertain, which simply means that if you are in her society for a day or, at any rate, two days, she is bound to expend an amount of acidity upon yon. No one has ever associated with her for any length of time without coming to the conclusion that she is personally convinced she is not only able to take care of herself but of as many people as will enlist themselves under her patronage and protection. The lady bully belongs to the leatherlunged order of beings. No matter where she is—whether she be in the drawingroom, the street, or private conclave, she makes a point of talking in a loud and aggressive voice. When she announces that young Brown is making a bad match in marrying Miss Smith, she does so in a manner which plainly indicates that she defies contradiction, and that no amount of persuasion or argument shall induce her to modify her opinion in the slightest degree, Her views upon men and things are, in a general way, decidedly eccentric. Young women are, according to her aspect of the case, something very much resettling simpletons, and require to be carefully watched at all the various stages of their careers. Young men, who do not possess a large share of this world’s goods, on the other hand, are, in her eyes, monsters, on a small scale, seeking whom they may devour, or, in other words, trying what well-dowered maidens they can entrap into marrying them. Strong adjectives are things for wheih she has special affection. Let anyone mike a statement in her hearing and the probability is that it will be stigmatized as “ stuff ” and “nonsense” or something of the kind. Let any young person attempt to hold his own against her and he will undoubtedly be dubbed an upstart, while an individual, as old as herself, who attempts to do this, is sure to be made a victim upon whose character or intellect most serious reflections, couched in the plainest possible terms, will be cast. To say that people lack common sense is mildness itself compared with her sledge-hammer speeches in reference to objects of her wrath. It is a notorious fact that she fancies she knows a great deal more about everybody’s business than they do themselves, and that she is cognisant of every mistake which they have made in the conduct of their lives. She will inform you in what respect Jones, whose children are turning out badly, has failed in his duty in reference to them, her invariable conclusion being that if he has not been a fool he has been a knave, and that he is, therefore, doing nothing more than meeting with his deserts. She will tell you how Smith, who has become a bankrupt, has brought himself into his trouble in such a disgraceful or dishonest manner that he is not worth an atom of compassion, which he will most certainly fail to get from her. It is a striking trait in her character that she never believes in people who are “ down.” These she deems it her duty to speak disparagingly of behind their backs, and to snub, not to say insult, when they

appear before her. All things considered, it is not surprising that those who are brought across her path, for the most part endeavour to shrink into obscurity when she heaves in sight, aud are content to let her have her say unchecked. When two of these female bullies meet, the spectacle presented is, indeed, edifying in the extreme. They rave and shout in order that their voices may be properly heard, which it is somewhat unreasonable to expect they shall be, seeing that the two ladies persist in speaking at the same time, and that they both deem it a point of honor not to retire in favor of the other. At the same time above the gabble of sound it is easy to distinguish that they are talking ill about some iiersons, who, you are led to understand, are deficient in common-sense, virtue, and other desirable things. In a general way the lady bully, j in addition to being an egotist, is a liar, I and is utterly selfish. People must not 1 fall into the mistake of imagining that she sets herself up in judgment upon her acquaintances because she loves them, inasmuch as this is not the case. It may i n variably be concluded that the person wl io talks recklessly about other people is a selfish egotist, whose shallow intellect is as remarkable as her boundless vanity. The lady bully is, most certainly, not an argument in contravention of this statement.

“ Put that right back where you took it from,” as the girl said when her lover snatched a kiss.

Mr. Stephen Lock was recently married to Miss Lucy Cheek. This was a decided case of lock-jaw.

Dn. Franklin used to say that rich widows were the only piece of secondhand goods that sold at prime cost. “Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted np his voice aud wept,” says the Scripture. Now, if Rachel was a pretty girl, and kept her face elean, we can’t sec that Jacob had much to cry about. Thebe is a woman dow'n East so large round the waist that her husband cannot hug her all at once ; but when he takes one hug, he makes a chalk mark so as to know where to commence the next time going round. A correspondent -complains of lady equestrians in the Row wearing spurs, also of their long habits, which are dangerous to themselves and male equestrians. Ladies’ habits are frequently dangerous to males.