NEWLY MARRIED.

Patea Mail, 21 December 1881, Page 4

NEWLY MARRIED.

The romance of a young Bostonian who married a New’ York lady last winter is told by a correspondent. They went abroad for a wedding trip of six months, and after their return one of his acquaintances said to the bridegroom, “ Well my dear boy, I suppose you arc delighted with your pretty wife 7 You think her a radiant goddess, no donbt ? Men always do have extravagant notions of their wives the first year of marriage The Bostonian smiled rather drearily as he replied, “Well, the fact is, ray wife has too many clothes for every possible occasion, and they are of such resplendent patterns that my time has been mainly taken np in admiring them. I have not got really acquainted with my wife yet; but I dare say that in the course of a year or so I shall get down to the actual woman."

Cheese-making by the factory system has led to the discovery that the poor character of cheese made from skim milk can bn remedied by artificially introducing foreign fat. At an election a candidate for office was charged by his wicked opponents with using oleomargine, when, with a virtuous indignation which would make all honest people laugh, he put in this defence—that he did nob use one single ounce of the article named, adding, “ Neither are there any other ingredients used except skim milk, and from 1 to 1-| lb. of pure leaf lard to every 100 lb of milk !” The progress of invention has led to so many discoveries for building up a handsome woman out of mere frameworks that the World,-niter referring to false teeth, false hair, JErine dye, paint, indiarnbbcr hips, and patent palpitators, says the next thing will be a hall mark to be worn by those beauties pi'onounced by competent judges to be “ genuine.” A Napier candidate in his late addresses deprecates reference to anything but public character and public actions. The Weekly Mercury says, however, that the electors do not choose to limit their researches to the top of a sack of potatoes when they want to discover the character of the whole bag. Mr Bryce appears to have a wholesome terror of “ Press specials.” But to justify their exclusion from Parihaka in one breath and in the next to confess that they succeeded in getting in, is a little weak. It is now generally known that one mob of ** specials ” were concealed in such close proximity to Mr Bryce and Colonel Roberts that conversation of the most confidential character was overheard. It is perfectly useless to try and keep reporters away. The more obstacles the more glory, is their motto; and they generally do their best to chronicle accurately what they see. By the way, who is the man who, when acting as special correspondent at Parihaka, expressed a wish that Mr Bryce should be shot ? It seems probable that we shall hear a chorus of disclaimers all over the country. Surely no reporter would descend to the level of Mr London ? For the four weeks ending 12th November, the revenue on the Wanganui section of railway was £3,730 as against £2,822 in 1880. On the New Plymonth section for the same period the revenue was £1,107 as against £638 in 1880. Section 19, block IX, Township of Manaia, containing one rood, has been reserved as a site for Road Board offices. Mr and Mrs A. Morey, and Elizabeth Stewart were on Monday committed for trial at Wellington, on a charge of stealing a watch and a sum of £6 17s 6d. A female undertaker thrives in Philadelphia. Women certainly cannot complain that the professions arc not open to them. Misquotation.—A Sunday-school boy being asked what made the tower of Pisa lean, replied, “Because of the famine in the land,” An Alabama Negro Magician, who claimed to be lead-proof, invited several fellow Africans to shoot at him the other day. The obsequies were very plain and unpretentious. A noted naturalist remarks that vultures are very disorderly birds. They never miss a chance for a lark, and have a decided tendency to carry-on whe opportunity offers. “Where are you going V” asked a little boy of another, who had slipped and fallen down on the icy pavement.—“ Going to •get up !” was the blunt reply. The ladies at Long Branch, U. S., do not dress as often as the Saratoga belles. The latter make five and six toilets a day, but the former arc content with two.