The Patea Mail. (Published Wednesdays and Saturdays.) SATURDAY, MARCH 20, 1880.

Patea Mail, Volume V, Issue 501, 20 March 1880, Page 2

The Patea Mail. (Published Wednesdays and Saturdays.) SATURDAY, MARCH 20, 1880.

The topics of the day arc so Humorous that it is quite impossible for us, with a bi-weekly issue, to keep abreast of them. We will, therefore, to-day depart from our usual custom of devoting a column to one subject, in order that we may in a few words despatch several matters that have been in waiting for some time. The conduct of Ministers during the recess is an over fruitlul theme. Last year, about this time, to expose, to abuse, and to defend the eccentricities of Sir George Grey and Mr Sheehan was - acnr me~r icssaiau' iu ud. certainly it was enough, and not only afforded a text for innumerable leading articles, but also,’afterwards, for innumerable speeches in Parliament, varying from the tremendous Philipics of Sir William Fox and Mr Wakefield to the spiteful twaddle of Mr Rolleston and the •airy nothings of Mr John Hall. But it is not very certain that, were there an organised Opposition, there would not be equal scope for oratorical display when Parliament moots again. It is pretty clear that the chief sin of the late Ministry consisted in their opponents not being able to follow suit while in Opposition, Sir George and Mr Sheehan were birds perched upon the vine and enjoying the luscious clusters, while the then Opposition wore foxes chattering upon the ground about the abominable acidity of those grapes. Mr Sheehan’s successor is doing a fair amount of travelling, though, we are bound to say, to some purpose, and we also note that ho is content to use the ordinary means of travelling, and docs not, like Mr Sheehan, travel night ami day by special post to catch a specially detained steamer, when there is no perceptible reason for haste. The Hon John Hall, however, takes his pleasure trip in true Georgian stylo. He goes to Auckland to shepherd the ‘ rats,’ ami to appease l heir constituents, to enquire kindly after Auckland’s little wants, and to talk patronisingly of her rcsourscs. No doubt bo will make friends with the mammon of unrighteousness, and the eternal allegiance of Auckland will bo bought with the handsome sums that the Patea people flattered themselves had been secured to complete their railway. Mr Oliver is also looking round the colony to see what can be done to serve Dunedin. He does not expect to be able to transfer from Auckland, as he did from Christchurch, acres of railway work shops to the capita! of Otago. But if be can (>iily do something towards keeping h/old of his present position, it will bo go much gained. As for Mr Whit ulcer, he lias permanently taken up Ids quarters in Auckland, that ho may he in the centre of that magic circle—the land ring. There is, in fact, abundant ground for attack on the part of the Opposition, if it only had a bead, and could bark and bite. But the Opposition has no head, and scarctdy any body, so the mice can play. A miserable attempt, at satire upon the Ministry has been made in Christchurch in the shape of an extravaganza entitled “ Happy Land,” hut of all the point less, wit drivel ever imposed upon Immunity, lias is the worst. Thu only good bit in the whole thing is accidental, and consists of calling the country where such trash is served up to the public a Happy Land.” Tliu'app antment of a new Minister in the person of Mr Thomas Dick, lias [ somewhat surprised the country. There 1 v ov two good men in the Ministry >

hnt a fmv such accessions as this last will bring the average down terribly, lom Dick is a very suggestive name, and has led to rather happy joke of “ the Tom Dick and Harry Ministry.'’ But what’s in a name ? Nothing. And what’s in ..lie man ? Nothing. Previous to his advent in the present Parliament, Mr Dick was unknown, except among “ the most straitost sect” of Ids religion. The wonder to us is that he could descend to anything so mundane as politics. But the wonder of wonders is, how he got to ho a representative of the City of Dunedin. We are reminded of the news from Victoria, which tells of how a certain Minister was defeated by a youth best known as the captain of the Carlton Football Club ! But such things will happen, as well in Dunedin as in Melbourne. When once elected for the great Southern city, there is no marvel in Mr Dick’s becoming a Minister. To represent Dunedin is an all-sufficient qualification, for if it were not, if it came short in the least degree, Mr Dick would have had no chance.

Wo do not know whether the country is, in future, to bo governed by Royal Commissions, and whether Parliament will simply meet to receive their reports, or not, but certainly there is a Commission for almost every Department. In Wellington they have been so crowded with Commissions and their followings, that a Secretary and an Interpreter had to be turned into the Premier’s room. Of course that was the place, of all others, whore they would be least likely to be disturbed, and so far, it was very considerate to put them there until the Royal Commission Buildings are erected; but was there nothing savouring of desecration in this bold expedient ? The Native Commission is a sensible appointment, and practically consists of two, so that there cannot be more than two opinions in that august body as to what is to be done. But the Railway Commission is quite a numerous party-, the M. H.R. clement being strong enough to accept its own report when Parliament meets. The Royal Civil Service Commission is not so numerous, but will no doubt contrive to spend more than it saves. It will, we presume, enquire whether such and such an office could not be worked with one hand loss, and it will employ a dozen hands in collecting, writing, and piloting evidence on the subject. It will then enquire whether such and such an officer, by substituting gruel for bread and cheese, could not do with half-a-crown a week less pay. While pursuing this economical enquiry, the Commission and suite will put up at the best hotel, and faro sumptuously at the public cost. About the Royal Local Industries Commission we have not been able to learn much. No doubt that not to know it argues ourselves unknown, but .run- -icq n.t-of iAnm ('•-> n ..an ciLr lio. rsm/uliml by appointing a Royal Commission to enquire into us. How many other Commissions there are we confess we don’t know, but we would suggest one, if it lias not already been appointed, to enquire into the Patea Railway station site. Another might bo appointed to adjust matters between our amiable Wavcrlcy correspondents. Those would not cost above £IO,OOO each, and would, or course, bo popular, which is the chief cud of all political action. If the Government really moan to absorb the unemployed” in Royal Commissions and their camp-followers, we are prepared to offer suggestions for further Commissions.

Mr W. Dale will hold a sale of landed property, merchandise, &c., at his Mart to-day. Mr W. M. Thomson will dispose of the Nonnanby Butcher’s shop, at Hawera, to-day ; also land, merchandise, &c. Mr J. Kenworthy has just received, direct from London, a very largo assortment of stationery, &ck, particulars of which will be found elsewhere.

The adjourned meeting of the members of the Patea District Jockey Club will be held at Mr W. Cowcrn’s ollice, this evening, at 7 o’clock. At the meeting of the Taranaki Land Board on Monday last, a letter was read from several settlers in the Ngaire District, complaining that the road to their property was unfit for traffic.—The Chairman was instructed to refer them to the Patea County Council. At the K.M. Court, yesterday, S. Taplin sued Edward Hankins, sen , for a debt £6 Gs 3d; judgment for £ or amount claimed and 9s coy’ tg> *(j Wray, Esq., U.M., and c ro ft, j.p.j occupied the Bench. Mr Frank air 1 , Miss Eva Hewitt announce performn; ;lCGS in the Town Hall, Carlyle, this evening and Monday evening ; and at rlawera on Tuesday and Wednesday. From enquiries, wo learn that the entertainment is a good one, and well worthy of patronage.

Mr am! Mrs Hart’s performances here on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings were very succesful, the Hall being filled on both occasions. From the manner in which they were received, we should think the Company would do well to pay Patea another visit in a short time.

A public meeting will be held at Hawora this evening, to consider the best means of urging upon the Government the great necessity of taking immediate steps to secure to the district the appropriation of the moneys voted for public works. Ollier matters will also be brought forward. We mentioned on Wednesday, that it was more likely the missing man, Brown, had bolted, than that he had been drowned, but wo wore wrung, as the unfortunate man’s body was found Healing up the Patea River, near the bridge, early yesterday morning. The body was found by the fishermen, who in the dark mistook it for a log of wood till they seized n. An inquest was held yesterday afternoon, when a verdict of ;i Found Drowned” was returned.

The following, from the Melbourne 'Telegraph, is not a flattering description of: Members of the Victorian Assembly—- “ Our successive Assemblies have become, worse and worse—sinking from a low level to one still lower—until at length the lowest is reached, andithe Victorian Lower House stands before the world as pro bah! 3’ the most disreputable and the most demoralised body that ever abused representative powers and privileges within the wide range of the British dominions. Instead of grave and sober debating, the nightly occupation of the body, now happily defunct, was to indulge in such scones as recalled to memory those Helot orgies to which the ancient Greeks, by way of warning, were accustomed to take their sons. The spectacle of a member reeling and speechless through intoxication, led in between two Ministers of the Crown to give an unavailing vote was, we suppose, never before seen in any British House of Assembly, but we have shown (lie world even that disgustingI}' 1 }' repulsive sight. The spectacle of a member rushing wildly at a fellow-member to brain him with tiie first hard weapon that came to hand is unique in British legislative annals, but a fact in Victorian history. Then the incos sant brawls, the ruffian insults, the brutal taunts, die manners and language of the prize-ring and the low taproom, which were almost the staple of every day’s parliamentary record, are something that makes one ashamed to be obliged to publish to the world. The vile language and viler conduct were but symptomatic of the real disease—of “ the rank corruption ruining within.”