SCIENCE GONE MAD.

Patea Mail, Volume V, Issue 437, 21 June 1879, Page 2

SCIENCE GONE MAD.

The Statistical Society’s “Journal” for March gives pages in small ofMr Watford's paper’oaithe “ Famines 'of the. florid,” This is a splendid work, and will "be invaluable in regard to - the flight it will connexion the sun spot period of eleven years, arid the occur* rence of droughts and famin'es. The same number of; the f/Journal ” also devotes some space, to figures,and charts, to show the “ coincidence between the death-rate antj the .motions erf,the planet Jupiter,” This ’£pqnds'ypry; like ’the .old astrology, but as Jupiter is supposed to influence the sun spots, and the sun spots to, influence A the weather and the food supply, and .pie food supply to influence the life and death of meiy.we bow. meekly, and pass on. But when we come to a treatise on “ University Boat Races and the

Sun-spot Cycles,” our reverence for science scarcely prevents us from quoting the Hokitika lawyer’s description of the Borough Bye-laws—“ Rotl Thundering Rot!! Intolerable Rot 11! Unpardonable Rot!!!! Fearful stuff! Frightful muddle ! ! Dangerous ignorance ! !!” But stay, let us not even thus mildly condemn “ star-eyed science” unheard, for like Blihu “ she fetches her i .kuQvvledged'rom.afar/* There are more things' in Heaven, and-earth, than are, dreamt of. in our philosophpy. Here are. the facts. There have been thirty-five races in all since 1829. Oxford has won sixteen , and one “foulonce also, the Cambridge boat “sunk.” Cambridge has also won sixteen races, and there has been one “ dead heat.” Now, “in the minimum sun-spot group of yearn, Oxford won Jive races over Cambridge, and in the maximum sun-spot group of yeai s, Cambridge won Jive races over Oxford,” What could be clearer ? A few generations ago, our ancestors consulted the Almanac before they took physic, in order to see the age of the moon. This was in the dark ages. It was the’sun that governed the action of the pill all the while, and there he sat in the heavens and mocked. Wc shall teach our offspring the sun-spot cycle,' and die contented. -•

: In the meantime we suggest as subjects for enquiry—the enflucnce of the sun-spot cycle on cricket and football; the influence of Mars on Te Wbiti and the blue serge-trade; the influence of Jupiter on the advertising public; the influence of Saturn on the pulpit; the influence of Venus on the pews daring on the County Council. But to return to the sun-spoto. The “Journal” gives a number of the fires in London during ’77 and ’7B, but quite misses the obvious’connexion between that number and the sun-spots. The sun-spots determine the boat race, the boat race determine thousands of bets, -the losses and the gains determine the number of sprees, the sprees determine the number of lamps up-set, and the lamps determine the numbed of fires. (Lamps caused 245 fires in -78). The. only objection to the sun-spot theory that we can discover is, that the marriages show a falling off during the last few years, which have been years of minimum sun-spot. Now, our experience has been that matrimonial preliminaries prosper best in the minimum period—after sun-set. It is very remarkable, also, how people in England prefer to marry in the December quarter of the .year. That quarter averages about 8,000 marriages ; more than the next highest quarter in the year. This can scarcely be the sunspots, as it happens every year, but no; doubt it’s the sun, or the absence of the, sun in some way. Some have maintained that people get married then because Christmas is coming, but that’s “ Rot.” There is a decided preference for the March quarter to die in. Tbe average of deaths in that quarter is about 9,000 over the average of the next highest quarter selected from each year. How the sun manages this {s’ well known. It is supposed that originally there were no sun-spots intended, so that man could’nt die at all; but Eve upset that.