A WIDOW'S REVENGE.

Patea Mail, Volume III, Issue 239, 25 July 1877, Page 2

A WIDOW'S REVENGE.

[The writer of the following dogcrel i s not the gentleman who awhile ago performed an ‘-original” local _ song at Hawera. It is by a new aspirant.] I’m going to relate a tale of woe, That happened here not long ago. A widower, tired of a single life, Resolvi-il to try and look out for a wife ; And looking around a mate to secure. He fix’d on a widow, who lived just next door. Being bashful to speak, he decided ’twas better, To relate the whole tale of his love in a letter— Which ho wrote, with request, that ho might understand, If accepted or not, ho stood for her hand. The reply came as prompt as lover could wish : Ho seized on the letter and gave it a kiss, And being a barber and tailor to hoot, Was anxious to know if she smil’d on his suit. The widow requests, so the letter did state, He would for an answer, the evening await ; At a certain hotel, she would meet him at And there and at once would decide on his fate. Feeling sure of his prize, a long coat he did don — Slmv’d his chin (cut it twice), a clean collar put on; Then fixing a flower, to look a young spark, As the hour drew near, for the hotel made a dart: Nor long did he wait, till the widow did come, And with her another, to act as her chum; And sending in word to say she’d arrival, Stood, with companions, awaiting outsjde: When, out rush’d the man, being frighten'd to miss her, And was met by a treacle brush, slap on kisser, Which the widow’s clnnu plied, with a dexterous grace, Till the lover was plastered all over the face, — While his bride seized In's hair, with a linn ami strong grip, And shower’d on him blows, from a new green hide whip. When he opened his month to implore them to stop, Half way clown his throat would the the treacle brush pop,— Whilst the bride, with her whip, his back still assails, Till lie looks like a fish being covered with wales. Exhausted at hist, they let him escape, With half the hair gone from the top of his pate; .And treacled and bruised to his lone home he slithers, And swears nevermore to have truck with the widers. BOZ. ■— sag——mpsi 11 inniifi—

Strangers find country settlers coining to Carlyle, are very often at a loss to know which is the best and cheapest General Dranery and Clothing Establishment in the district. Ih A. Adams’ Cardigan House, offers special advantages that can be met with nowhere else in the district. Ho keeps the largest and best assorted stock of every description of drapery < r oocls, imported direct —and from the best colonial houses ; which, being bought on the most advantageous terms, and having thorough knowledge of the business, enables him to offer goods of sterling quality at pi ices that cannot be improved on by'any other house in New Zealanl Every article is marked in plain fignre from*which there is no deviation ; so tlnr inexperienced people are as well served ns the best judges, the tenae being net

cash, without rebate or abatement of any kind. Note the address —R. A. Adams ; Cardigan House, nearly opposite 'lowu Hall, Carlyle. —advT. Holloway's Pills. —For the cure o£ debility, biliousness, liver and stomach complaints this inappreciable medicine is so well know n in every part of the world,' and the cures performed by its use_ aVc so' wonderful, that it now stands pre-eminent’ above all other rein-dies, more particularly for the cure of bilious and liver complaints, disorders of the stomach, dropsy, and debilitated constitutions. In these diseases the beneficial effects of the Bills are so permanent, that the \vho c s\ stem is renovated, the organs of digestion strengthened, mil a tree respiration promoted. They expel from the secretive organs and the circulation the morbid matter which produces inflammation, pain, fever, debility, aiul physical decay—thus annihilating, by their purifying properties, the virulence of the most painful and devastating diseases.