AN IMPORTUNATE LOVER WHIPPED AND TREACLED.

Patea Mail, Volume III, Issue 239, 25 July 1877, Page 2

AN IMPORTUNATE LOVER WHIPPED AND TREACLED.

Tub following is a copy of letter sent to a respectable and industrious widow residing at Hawera. The lady has been so pestered and annoyed by trie writer, that, as the only resource left to be rid of her tormentor, we have been requested to publish the letter, which reads as follows : i; Hawera July 18 1877. Mrs I hope you’l Receive this note in good Faith and give me a Favorable answer you have known me now some time I am not a man To Jest on Important subjects it lias onley Been Delicacy that lias prevented me from expressing my views Before if you will axcept of me as a suitor For your hand & give me your heart with it I will Give you m:no in Return you know yourself I have Long Loved you in Secret and I think we should get on” well together I will marry you shortly if you arc willing I long again for

the comforts of a homo if you choose to accept Drop a Lino an say yes & you’l never Repent I Dont Belivo in Long courtships you need not fear But I shall make you a good Husband and I Knosv you would make a Darling - Little wife I shall Be a good Father to your children I Do not want any of your property that I consider Belongs to your children so that you have nothing to Loose ouley your heart & will give mine in Return if I come as your axeeptod Suitor the comfort of your Society will wean me from all Other Attractions and I will not sell the property But take your advice upon it an answer will much Oblige please to Keep the thing a secret at Least at present it will Bo Found out Soon Knough Trusting For a Favourable I hope to Remain your Loving and Affectionate J * 0000000000000 P.S. No gammon in this. Drop me a Lino Either yes ,

>\fter V'riting letter, lover was so anxious for an answer, that he applied in person. It was decided to give him an answer. The lady agreed to meet him at eight o’clock on Friday evening at Lloyd’s corner. The gentleman does the lather- uni shave-’nm business for the good folks at Hawera. He also shapes as snips—tailoring claiming some share o1! his attention, besides which ho acts as commission, agent, and is available for well-sinking, cleaning, &c. The handy lover has also been a full private in the Imperial Arm}', and has seen active service. Duly rigged out with all his medals, clasps, and war trophies, with a long-tailed black cloth coat, and other fixings to match, the anxious lover waited patiently at the pub. The lady in due course enquired for the anxious one, having first armed herself with a raw-hide whip. In a sort of feverish hopeful ecslaey—the cup of bliss being almost full—the gentleman hurried to the side of his adored, and was about practically to demonstrate the fervour of Ins affection when the lady, stepping on one side, brought the whip whack-thwack on the gentleman’s head and shoulders, and before he could fairly straighten himself up to demand an explanation, an elderly but agile dame stepped forward with a large can of treacle and whitewash brush, and assailed him on the other side. Feathers had been previously mixed with the treacle. There was an admiring and helpful audience. The would-ho lover sought safety in flight, hut not however before he had had a full dose of whip, treacle and feathers. Legal proceedings are threatened by the rejected and importunate lover.