LITTLE WHITE LIES—ARE HEALTHY.

Otago Witness, Issue 4029, 2 June 1931, Page 63

LITTLE WHITE LIES—ARE HEALTHY.

In a really hygienic world candour would be licensed. In injudicious doses it isn’t healthy. To be open and above board in one’s attitude to oneself, and others, is most desirable, but this should not mean that one has always to be brutally frank. the candid friend is nobody’s friend. After we have been told that home truth we knew perfectly well in our hearts before, it is only human to feel a little dispirited. No one likes to have unpleasant matters brought into the limelight, even if, sometimes, it may be salutary. Unfortunately, the outspoken person never seems to know the right moment to choose, and the result of their no doubt well-meaning efforts, is to leave us a little more miserable than we were before—and rather more unhealthy. For we all know that depression is a forerunner of disease. There is a right time for frankness, but it is not just when everythin"’ has gone wrong. Too much self-revelation is apt to encourage an “ inferiority complex,” and this, in turn, may lead to grave consequences. . The sensitive nature is inclined to indulge in the acutest flights of selfcriticism at the least provocation—and the frank friend ” makes things so much harder. When the virtue of candour has to be exercised, reserve it until the time when the path has become smoother. .Difficulties and mistakes should be met with help and sympathy, postponing the suigery, until you have done something to lighten the burden. That is the proper emergency treatment, and it is healthy and kind. But, when we tell our friend straight out that her hat looks “shabby” (and we know she can t afford another!), or that she will never be good-looking, or that she can’t paint “for nuts,” what good does it do? It is not constructive nor beneficial, unless we proceed to follow it up with practical help. And very few of us are willing to do this.

At rock-bottom our frankness is crass selfishness and self-glorification. We cherish a picture of ourselves as tlie peiicctly truthful person, and each time we say: “Now, I know you would like me to be perfectly frank,” we are "ivin" ourselves another little pat on the back. Bon t acquire a reputation for bein'a sort of human fog! White lies do fatmore good than the blunt truths of the outspoken person, for they cheer and let a little sunshine into our lives. They are healthy, because they are a tome, just as home-truths are unhealthy because they are depressing. In order to live happily in this troubled world we must pretend. Every moment of our lives we are bluffing ourselves about this and that if we would be happy and content.—Home Chat.