CUSTOMERS’ QUEER WAYS.

Otago Witness, Issue 4029, 2 June 1931, Page 63

CUSTOMERS’ QUEER WAYS.

By a Shop Assistant. Salesmanship is an art which calls for alertness and tact. The idea that an assistant has merely to state prices, make up parcels, and take the cash is a delusion. A successful assistant must be something of a specialist, and must, above all, be capable of according the right treatment to the various customers with whom he comes in contact. In fact, he must be a practical psychologist. In his daily work he has ample scope for observation and study, as the types of customers are very numerous. Customers can be mentally classified by an assistant under two heads—those who know what they want and get it without giving unnecessary trouble, and those who don’t. In the former category he places quite a large number of women and nearly all men. The remainder js subdivided into various types. These provide an interesting study, even if they do sometime try the patience of a tired assistant.

Probably the most amusing type of customer is the lady who makes odd requests in all solemnity. Assistants are used to requests for almost anything. Yet occasionally the unconscious humour of a demand lightens the toil of shop life. Take the case of the old lady who called for a breastplate in a men’s outfitting shop when she wanted to purchase a stiff front and collar. Another lady, inspecting ties, solicited the help of the assistant in her search for a tie of the same shade of blue as the innocent eyes of her son, who was brought along for “ matching ” purposes. Yet another lady

requested “ a white twill nightshirt and a pair of dead men’s socks ” in which to lay out the corpse of her father-in-law, and which she insisted petulantly 7 should be free from dressing. Ladies are not alone in making odd requests. A man about to buy a readymade suit protested because the trousers were not creased at the sides. Another directed that the creases be ironed out before the purchase was delivered, as otherwise, “ everyone would know it was a new suit.” The number of customers who are incorrigible non-buyers is amazing. Pride of place in this category is given to the “ It’s-not-for-myself, I’il-tell-her-about-it ” type. Every assistant is familiar with this kind of lady, who, after having given endless trouble, takes her departure while muttering this hallowed formula. Who the mysterious “ her ”is never transpires. Then there is the harmless old lady who so nicely asks for patterns of cretonne 'when she is merely dodging a shower or an undesirable acquaintance seen down the street. The lady who has half an hour of which she can make no use while waiting to keep an appointment in town invariably drifts into a shop. At the various counters the attentions of the assistants are met with “ Oh, I’m only having a look round.”

This would not matter if the superintendent did not follow up closely with “Bid that lady- get what she wanted?” The more youthful counterpart of this type is the young girl who visits the silk department and spends a great deal of her own and the harassed assistant’s time in draping folds of coloured silks on her figure before a mirror—and who finally condescends to take patterns of half a dozen of them.

Almost equally trying to the patience of the assistant is the customer who is mentally assigned to the “ can’t-bc-pleased ” class. The most troublesome specimen of this type is the middle-class lady with social pretensions and a limited income. She invariably begins by examining articles of a quality in keep, ing with her manner, and runs right down the range of qualities until she secures the very cheapest by explaining that she wants “ something quite inexpensive; it is only for the maid.” Then there is the lady who protests tliat the shoes which she is trying on are uncomfortable, but who would not listen to a suggestion that size six, not four and a-half, is her correct size. It is impossible to reason with this type of customer. Much more tractable was the lady who returned a hat sized six and seven-eighths, which she had bought for her husband, with the request to have it changed for “ the next size, seven and eight-ninths.” But how is one to deal with the ingenuous lady who wants a man’s shirt which should be “ the same length back and front?”

There are three special types in the “nuisance” category. One is “the discount pest.” She claims reductions on the prices of goods, because her husband is a traveller for buckets, or because he is a Civil servant, or because she is a nurse, or “ has a son in the bank.” The pleas employed to obtain a reduction are legion. Next, there is the “ lastminute ” customer. She inevitably appears just as the assistants are on the point of leaving. Needless to say, she is not popular. Finally we have the lady who insists on getting the most inaccessible article in the window, even though exactly similar goods are offered from the stock in the fixtures. Borrowed plumes seem to have a fascination for a certain type of “ approbation ” customer. She orders hats or dresses to be sent “on approval.” It frequently happens that they arc all returned on the day after the party or dance at which her “ charming creation ” caught the eye of the press representative. Rugs sent on approbation on the day before an International football match are usually returned to the shop on the day after the match. Many a baby has been proudly borne to church in a christenening shawl which was not subsequently approved of. Visitors for a week-end have, unknowingly, slept under blankets and eiderdowns of like unsuitability. Shop life provides for the assistant, in addition to a livelihood, much fruitless labour, a good deal of humour, and a sound understanding of the ways of his fellow-man.—Glasgow Weekly Herald.