THE FAST THAT FAILED.

Otago Witness, Issue 2813, 12 February 1908, Page 88

THE FAST THAT FAILED.

A TRUTHFUL RECITAL

By Ma.pco. It was certainly not because of obesity — my detractors employ an uncomfoi table, attenuating adjective in reference to my avoirdupois. It was not a concession to the liver — that organ is not more assertive with me than is common to the quill-dming profession. It had no relation to the lasts of the pious mortifying the flesh to piomote the untrammelled growth of the soul— l fear this fiail flesh lagis in the inarch toxwinis that ethereal stage when physical nourishment is merely tolerated. Truth to tell. I confess to a definite pleasuie in rational eating, and it is well ior you, good reader, if you can subscribe to that sentiment. Nor did I contemplate maityidom in the interests of science, although at the commencement I did propose, in magnanimous spirit, to afford a medical man the opportunity of observing my feat of endurance. Fortunately for my selfrespect I decided to be mj- own Bake-well. What really did induce the decision to attempt a short fast was sheer idle curiosity to know what it was like. It was the same curiosity which has at various times prompted a visit to a for-tune-teller — I beg pardon, a psychometric medium, — a night on a mountain top, a daybreak excursion »vith the deep-sea fishermen, sundry visits " behind the scenes," and a stroll in feminine attire and unattended through the main thoroughfare at 10 p.m. The last-named experiment, it may be remarked, was disappointing, only one bad young man being gallant enough to accost the trembling dumsel.

Six days would be a fair test I jauntily decided ; there was no occasion to make the thing irksome, you know. Besides, for just that period I should be beyond the maternal vigilance, and everybody knows that a fast under the eye of a solicitous "parent is a piactical impossibility. A lecent attempt to embrace the ' non-breakfast "' cult made that abundantly clear. And it was for that reason that upon the first day a pretence at bieakfast was necessary before catching a very early train for town. En route my bokl project was confided to my fellow passenger, whose ironical merriment pro■\oked a wager of gloves to a necktie upon my stability. Thus fortified, when we sought a house of lefreshment upon anival in town I was able to sip my cocoa — liquids, of course, Mere permissible, — and content myself with iurtive glances at the fugitive delicacies upon tlie opposite plate. What to do with the lunch hour was a problem. I was expected at a relative's house, and ?ourtesy demanded ar. appearance there. (This is necessarily a lecord of small things, and, likewise necessarily. in the first person.) The appearance was duly made, and it was only after a stolid refusal of quite a catalogue of comestibles that I escaped with a glass of milk upon assuring my host that I had visited a refreshment house but recently — a statement which challenges denial. Subterfuge would be of no avail at home, it was quite certain. Adopting ■ the best policy," I announced aggressively to the other two members of our limited establishment seated at the evening meal that the dining table would know me no more tor six days. The reception was characteristic in each case. The male comment was terse and emphatic — "blooinin' fool!"'; the female, voluble and scathing — what good had anyone ever got from fasting ; had not some died ; I had more need to put on flesh, not to take it oft; I would be a wieck ac the end of six days ; " try this lovely tomato! " Decidedly disquieting, ,this. -My inconsequential physique would certainly not stand much depletion, and it occurred to me for the fiist time that the fasters of whom I knew had inevitably lost we.ght. Eschewing debate, I drank a glass of milk and retired, having demonstrated to my own satisfaction that abstention from foot! for one day was neither irksome nor injurious. It is a popular fallacy that th© only serious difficulty about fasting is the going without food. After one has endured the taunts of his friends, their advice, and their insinuations against his sanity, he begins to doubt whether, after all, the chiefest evil is the lack of nutriment. 1 awoke later than usual next morning — that is one of the privileges, when theie ie no breakfast to absorb time. My diagnosis was : Stomaeii normal, but slight sensation of lightness in the head. A cup of milk, then off to business. In my rough diary of this period I find here an entry : " Passed confectionery works ; odour savoury of biscuits ; hurried en." Strange the significance of peispective. This confectionery establishment, which I pass daily, has hitherto been noticeable only because of its exquisite sample of the genuine, unpolished " factory 'and," whom I may see in the winter mornings scurrying to work with hau* in curlers preparatory for the dance at night. Today the factory stands for but one 'dea, biscuits! and I hurry on.

Fasting I had quite expected to induce an " aching void " in the legions ayont the diapliragm. I was not prepared to find, as the morning wore on, that the head was developing the void, whilst the sub-diaphragmmatic economy was comparatively but 6lightly disturbed. This was an uncomfortable reflection in view of the aseertion that it is invariably the weakest- spot in our anatomy that shows the earliest signs of distress. Lunch was again a difficulty, but I contrived a glass of milk surreptitiously, and was then able to honourably repel all attacks by maintaining that I had dined. It was not until afterwards that I discovered my guilty secret was known even as I proffered my excuses. Returning to business by way of the main (street I remember to have been struck with the multiplicity o* fruit and confectionery shops and the unusual ciae tud .ittractivtuess of the

peaches and apricots. That afternoon I worked savagely. Tiifling matters irritated ; I lost patience after blowing seven times at the speaking tube in the vain ■endeavour to get a message delivered upstairs ; I spoke harshly to the very small cleik. In a v eak moment I confided in the bookkeeper, and paid the penalty — more advice. At a very youthful period of my life I was profoundly impressed by a mental se'ence article in which the reader was urged to gain control of himsei- by repeating earnestly the foimula: ~" I a well! I am strong! I am divins ! The time seemed appropriate for some such exercise, and I commenced to assure myself that I was not hungry, that I was perfectly at ease, and that I would continue so for several days. Presumably the formula was incorrectly applied, for the net effect was to keep me reminded that I was deuced peckish, anything but happy, and very much open to discuss the piobability of continuing so for several days. That evening 1 went home late, in the hope that all evidences of dining would have been removed. I found the table laid insinuatingly, and a provoking odour of savoury meat assailed me. I began to understand why Esau sold his birthright. Upon the assurance being given that the fast would not be impaired, I compromised to the extent of accepting half a glassful of beef tea. I had a column of newspaper copy to write up, and at its conclusion felt fresher and in better spirits with the world in general. But by the time I had retired suppeiless t 0 bed — supper, be it known, is my most enjoyable meal— l had allowed myself to wonder whether it would still be possible to hold out three days instead of six. As a rule nothing impairs my sleep, but the next morning I was awake at an unconscionably early hour, feeling decidedly unhappy. There was a throbbing dizziness about the head and a cavernous, yawning vacancy lower down. The first distinct impression was an unmistakable and remarkably clear vision ot a tempting blanc mange I remembered to have gazed at with positive affection as it stood upon the dining table the ever ing before. Every detail of that refection stood out with marvellous accuracy. I could have told the size of it to a hairs-breadth, the precise character and quantity of the jelly surrounding it. I could have guaranteed to place my hand, upon it in the dark, and had estimated the number of spoonfuls it would yield. 'Yes! I would purchase those gloves that very day ! And with that I was out of bed with feverish haste, scarce waiting to perform ablutions, and downstairs, lightly clad, an hour earlier than usual. Never did blanc mange undergo more speedy and savage dissolution, and never was blanc mange more delicious. That was all. About lunch time, but not before, I was beginning to resume the normal, and was prepared to admit a higher respect for the judgments of my friends. The experiment had cost me one pound and a-half in weight, and the net advantages may appeal to some people : a quarter of an hour longer in bed in the morning and a suspension of the tooth-brush.