SHORT STORIES.

Otaki Mail, Volume XXVIII, 7 June 1920, Page 3

SHORT STORIES.

I I WON'T SAY THAT, BUT—j Tryhard was not over intelligent, but industrious. He was doing his best Ito master the mysteries of matheI maties, and was a member of the geo- | metry class, j "Well, Mr Tryhard," said the pro- I fersor of mathematics to the struggling j youth, "have you succeeded in proving I the proposition which I set you?" j "1 don't say that," answered tho j pupil. "Proved is rather a strong word, but I've rendered it highly pro- I < liable!" I ' j e KNEW THEM BOTH. 1

j The young instructor was holding i j class on hoard of one of His Majesty' j ships. Grammar was the subject hi: J bright but uninterested pupils wen j trying to tackle. j ""What are the Iu o principal parts of la sentence."' he asked an old salt. Ex- | pectin k, of course, the answer. "Sub- ■ jeet and predicate.'' ! After much meditation Jack finally j plunged into it. J "Solitary confinement nud bread and | water."

!A MATTER OP MAKE. "Yes," said the American, recounting his battle adventures to an admiring listener, standing open-mouthed before him, "a Boche shell came along • and hit me in ihe neck! " "And you arc alive now."' gasped the listener. "Yep," replied Ihe American. "Yon sec, stranger, the shell was made in Germany, but my littln ole collar-stud was i le. in the I'.s.A. And 1 guess the s.iuib subsided. Il Mas some stud.

\ A SUPPOSITION. The orderly ofiicer was on his usual round. "Any complaiuts?" His voice sounded above the diji of knives and ' forks. | "Yes, sir!" answered a heallhyI looking representative of tin; Tommy Atkins tribe. ''This 'ere blinking : joint 'k raw!"^ "Jjook liiti'T my man," said the officer, alter due examination, which proved the complaint to be justified. "Dir. you know that Captain Webb trained on raw beef in order to swim the Channel J'' "Oh." said Tommy Atkins, "I thou;:' ' :i 'ow we was ;;oin' across in boats!"

IrOK THE INTERIOR. ,The editor of a country paper Lad , come up to town accompanied by hi r , hettcr half. The lady had the misfortune to be the gue.it for tea of ;< very patroni-ing friend. "(Jo your husband is an editor." she asked. ' '' i'es.' ' "yince you have no family and considerable spare time, I dure .-ay you assist your husband iu his editorial work?" "Oh, yes!" replied the wife of the editor. "I edit nearly all hi- insido matter!" ODD 3 AGAINST HIM. Bill Sykcs had been charged with stealing a watch, and had been found not guilty. Just as the verdict had been given, u charge of assault was heard against the eoinplainun'. "Ho beat me all about the "cad with ' a brick, an' near killed me, yer honor!" declared the victim. "Why didn't you defend yourself?" asked the magistrate, rather bored ■ with the proceedings. "Had you aothing in your liana . "Well, yer honor. I had his watch, but what was the use of that against a brick.'"