MR DOOLEY ON GOLF.

Otaki Mail, Volume XXVIII, 31 May 1920, Page 4

MR DOOLEY ON GOLF.

"He thinks he'a a golf player. But nobody plays the game. They worruk at it," observes Mr Dooley of his friend Hogan in the chapter "On G01f,"," in "Mr Dooley, on Making a. Will and Other Necessary Evils." "In a gin'ral way," continues Mr Dooley, "all I can say about it is that it's a kind av a game iv ball that ye play with ye'er own worst ininvy, which is ye'ersilf, and' a man ye don't like goes around with yet an' gloats over yet, M'sa little boy follows yc to carry th' elubs an' hide th' ball afther ye've hit it. Th' ball is small, made iv injy rubber, and' filled with a pizinous substance, an' if yo hit it a good smash ,t bursts an' puts out ye'er eye. Ye're supposed to smatsh this little grenade :Vm place to place an' here an' there >n' up an' down an' hither an' yon with an enormous insthrtvment iv wood or iron until in due time ye got to what ■n called a puttin' green. There's a little hole with a tin can in it in th' middle iv this place, an' whin ye'r* within a fut or two iv this hols ye tako a small hammer out iv th' bag, an' y« hit th' ball four or five times till it tumbles into th' hole. Thin ye Tripe th' cold swet fr'm ye'er biow, writ* down 's' on a little card, en' walk away a few feet an' do it all over again."