POET'S CORNER.

Oamaru Mail, Volume IV, Issue 981, 11 June 1879, Page 4 (Supplement)

POET'S CORNER.

HIGH SCHOOL FOR GIRLS—THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. " Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn." . —Gay. I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance Which the ladies have formed with their gibberish-science; They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, . And give themselves airs _for the sake 01 pneumatics. They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, While the stains gather fast on the wall and the flooring; _ And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short _ With their chemical use of the still and retort. • Our expenses increase, without drinking French wines, For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines ; And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, With their accurate sense of the square of the distance. They can name every spot from Peru to El Arisli, Except just the bounds of their own native And "they study, the orbs of "Venus and Saturn, . While their home is resigned to the thief and the slattern. Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers ; Flies and shells swallow up all our everyday gains, And our acres are mortgaged for fossil remains. They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction ; They drive us from home by electric attraction; . . And I'm sure, since they've bothered their 1) Willi affinity, I'm repulsed every hour from my learned divinity. When the poor stupid husband is weary and starving, Anatomy leads them to give up the carving ; And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, While they study the line of the os humeri. If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, We awake with a din about limestone and trap, And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, For the women are rapt in the deep-coal formation.

'Tis ail impious thing that the wives of the laymen, Should use pagan words 'bout pistil and stamen ; Let their heir break his head while they foster a dahlia, And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. The first son becomes half a fool in reality, While the mother is watching his large ideality ; And the girl roars unchecked, quite a moral abortion, For we trust to her benevolence, order, and caution. I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, Ere this hew tree of knowledge had set them arsinning; The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges— ' So' here's to plain English ! —a plague on their ologies !. .•.