RANDOM NOTES.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 95, 10 August 1876, Page 2

RANDOM NOTES.

By 3IAGGUFFIN. ♦ " A duel's ainang- ye takin' notes, An' faith he'il prent 'em." Brass. «. Why is it that the customers of the Government are subjected to a course of treatment at the hands of its employe's which is never experienced elsewhere ? You go into a draper's, and yon meet with the greatest obsequiousness, and from the moment you enter the door until you are graciously bowed out again, you are the recipient of courtesy, civility, and attention. Should your business, however, unfortunately necessitate a trespass upon the leisure of a Civil servant, you quickly discover that the designation is a decided misnomer. Those hard-worked and downtrodden gentiy seem to imagine that the public are their natural enemies, and that the indulgence of a malicious desire to worry and harrass them rather than necessity, is the spirit by which most people are actuated who seek their services. You call at the Post-office, for instance —I am not speaking locally, but generally—and ask to be obliged with four twopenny stamps. The clerk who has been brought to the window with difficulty, hears what you have to say, and having done so, takes a long and scrutinising look at you, which plainly says: "All-right; I know you, and you shall smart for this annoyance." You receive the required postage, and feel thankful that you have so far succeeded without rousing the slumbering lion ; but you have been reckoning without your host, for on your laying down a shilling, the storm bursts forth, and you are asked, with a snap and a snavl, '' if you have not got the proper amount f' With shame you confess that such is not the case, and after being subjected to a severe jacketing for your conduct, you get four penny stamps slapped down before you. Possibly you may entertain a dim notion of expostulating, and saying that you do not want the stamps, but you do want the money change, but a look at the incensed official, as he returns to his easy chair, forbids such temerity, and you' take your departure, writhing under the castigation and injustice you have received. I ask again, with the immortal Artemus, "Why is this thus ]" but that it is .10, no doubt many of my readers have had painful practical experience ; and that it should not be, all must cordially admit. Measured by the foot, the Hon. James M'Kean can conscientiously lay claim to be considered a great man, but judging from the altitude of mind, or the largeness of soul, the converse is the fact. With his six feet four of humanity, the Hon. James towers above his fellows, but measuring the mind as the standard of the man, no such advantage is apparent. His has been rather a successful career, since he first landed in Victoria in search of the golden treasure. First digger, then a reporter for the '' Age," next solicitor, followed by a seat in the Legislature, only to be followed by his occupancy of the Treasury Bench as Minister of Lands. His last change, however, seems to have been a retrograde one—being nothing more nor less than his expulsion from the House tlu'ough his insane love of the cacoetJies loquendi. Although Mr. M'Kean's burly proportions have been of assistance to him in his chronic warfare with society in general, the exercise of his Herculean strength has not been without I its drawbacks. On his joining the Colling- |

wood Rifles it was found impossible that he should remain a plain private, for when placed in the rank and file, he brought the corps into disrepute by dwarfing his companions—towering head and shoulders above them. So that the tall recruit quickly became a sergeant. Pugnacity is a distinguishing characteristic of the hon. James, while patience under rebuke was a virtue which he never put in practice. Is it to be wondered at, then, that at a meeting of the corps, when called to order by his captain-chairman he should resent the indignity offered to a member of the Legislature in his person by seizing the aforesaid captain by the back of the collar and the seat of Ms unwhisperables, and quietly depositing Mm two feet beyond the channel. 'Tis true a Court-ftartial declared such conduct not to be tolerated, and the corps lost the gigantic sergeant. However, Mr. M'Kean being both a solicitor and a member of Parliament, had still a wide field for a display of his ornate language, and even his most bitter enemies were bound to confess that he never lost an opportunity of indulging it to the utmost. So freely in the course of Ms professional duties did he give rein to the unruly member, that Justice after Justice refused to hear a case in wMch he appeared as counsel. The climax, however, was reached a few weeks since, when he deI clared in a Court of Justice that the drunken and immoral lot which constituted the Legislature of Victoria, were worse than the lowest scum of Collingwood. Whether there was any truth in the accusation, I am not prepared to say ; but the body so attacked took exception fco the plain way of putting it, and no doubt through feelings of delicacy, decided that such a dove as the -pure M'Kean should not be allowed to mingle in such dangerous society. The ex-Minister is now somewhat in the position of a divorce, forced to return to that seclusion and obscurity which he is so eminently fitted to adorn, and from which he should never have been emerged. Sic transit gloria mundi. One occasionally meets with amusing advertisements in the public prints, but I think the following, which graced the columns of a Timaru journal, is a perfect gem in its way : "To Kleptomaniacs.—lf the parties who stole the Leg of Mutton and a Pudding during the night of the Ist instant from the back of my premises, will will retiu'ii the dishes, they will gi'eatly oblige.—J. H. Copp." I" imagine I see the Kleptomaniacs so feelingly appealed to, stung to remorse, and overpowered by the delicate manner in which the invitation has been couched, waiting, dishes in hand, upon the immortal Cop. I should think that, by such a procedure, they would be very likely to "dish" themselves, for it is more than probable they would " Copp" it with a vengeance. Kleptomaniacs are supposed to be persons who on certain occasions are not accountable for their actions, yet I am prepared to wager that although it was mania which caused the removal of the dishes, no such motive-power will effect a return.