WILKINSON'S WET.

NZ Truth, Issue 97, 27 April 1907, Page 6

WILKINSON'S WET.

A Dear Drunk.

: There are any number of people who are most affable when under the influence of the pint that cheers, but there are others who should leave the cursed stuff alone altogether, because they act- the oart of lunatics when full to the neck, and are unconscious of what they are doing. A burly bloke of unattractive features, named William Wilkinson, fell m at Christchurch this week when he was out on the loose, and commenced to perform. It was bad luck that > he should, have started on a policeman ; he didn't have any opportunity of . running amok that day. The sooner ran across , the street to where the genial Flanigan was controlling the traffic at the Bank of New Zealand corner, and said things to him. He remarked as he shook bis fist: "You were very officious the other day ; T have plenty of money now, and now see what you can do, you — dog." 'The consstable placed the sooner on the footpath, and told Mm to be a good boy, and go home and say his prayers, or words to that effect. But the obnoxious Wilkinson- wasn't to be, brushed aside m that way ; he was the biggest peach m the pot of jam— and he looked it. He threatened to biff Flanagan on his lovely countenance, and yet the peeler did n o t get wild, but merely gave

THE FLUSTERED FLUTTERER another chance, and shoved him out of the way of a passing motor-car, the proprietors of which article had no time for drunks. Then Wilkinson launched out (with his tongue), and he was promptly launched m. The traffic was impeded 1 by the incident, a large crowd collecting to view the snectacle, but that didn't matter. A charge of being, disorderly while drunk was preferred against wobbly Wilkinson, an<T the- wonner appeared to have money to pay for this freaky frolic, too, but after he was jugged he started battering the door of his cell with a sanitary pan, and battered the thing out of shape, a process he adopted m regard to a tin plate on which he had his wittles. The Government don't give you the best Doulton or other ware m police cells, which seems a pity— from a crockery merchants' view-point. Wowsy -Wdlkinsoni's only excuse when he faced the bench was that he didn't remember the affair at all, "but he remembered being jugged, and said he only , knocked . the sanitary pan aagainst the door to attract attentionj he deserved bail ; but a man has""to be m some hours before he can eet bail, and he had no hope. He stated, further, that he wasn't addicted to the language attributed to him, and that if he did use it he must have been knocked about pretty considerable. Well, the bench knocked his cheque about to the extent of £2 10s— a fairly dear drunk.