POLITICAL NATURAL HISTORY.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIV, Issue 5763, 18 September 1879, Page 3

POLITICAL NATURAL HISTORY.

o THE EAT. (contributed.) Tho legislative rat, which is mostly to b found about the Houseg of Parliament, dift -r somewhat from the other members of t\v\*family, but is in many respect 3 very similar i ■ its habits. The Parliamentary rat is much addicted to sitting on a rail, if he can't secure >■ good post—one with a good screw preferred So partial is he to the latter that he will leav no Btone unturned in order to secure a lucrative seat in the Cabinet ; but it ia seldom a rat succeeds in gaining that luxury, as there i a big Grey cat there, who has no mercy on the poor House-rat. Some time ago one did get in, and escaped awhile the claws of the Grey cat, who watched its little game for a time quietly, until it, not satisfied with getting at the tea and sugar, wanted to meddle with its master's beer. This was too much for the Grey party, so the poor rat had to abandon his designs on the beer and retire to his corner, where he sat trying to look like "little Jack Horner," but couldn't. Finally this poor rat got the kick out of the Cabinet, and now wants to form a party of his own species and assume the office of Premier, and give nice little "at homes" and "carpet hops," where the ball would be opened by the "Rats' Quadrille," the guests being requested to come on foot, as traps are considered dangerous. The political rat has the advantage of the leopard, as he can change his spots, and does, going over to the " other side" when he has picked up all the crumbs on the side of the House he has been occupying hitherto. He likes to be thought the "poor man's" and " small farmer's friend," but the poor man and the small farmer have too little to give away to satisfy the rapacity of the rat political, whose appetite is like that of the horse-leech—never satisfied. He has a fine instinct for danger, and tries vigorously to leave a falling Cabinet before the crash, but has been known to try and get back again when the danger passed, and tho safety of the concern was assured for a while longer. Many of them are of considerable sire, but are not considered dangerous ; they are usually caught in their own nets, and frequently perish through being " left out in the cold," or getting "up a tree." The Brown rat comes from Tuapeka (at the country's expense), whilst the largest of the tribe is said to have lately deserted Raugitikei and gone back to Wanganui, where he met an old Fox, whom he managed to beat after a hard tussle, the odds being two to one against the Fox, who lost the day through going straight and in full view, whilst his opponent "did the block" on the sly, and got as many as he could to join him in worrying the old favorite, whose only fault seems to have been his aversion for rats, and his plain way of saying so. Some people think we are well rid of the Fox, but others think we might have got something better than a " rat" in exchange.