LONDON TOWN TALK.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIV, Issue 5612, 25 March 1879, Page 3

LONDON TOWN TALK.

r ‘(From the Melbourne Argus.) ", i Let certain sentimental legislators ;tako note that since the punishment of death- ryas done away with in- Switzerland, murders, and those of a very shocking'charaeter, have’ greatly in'--creased; ’ ’N6t ,f pnly'. has'-the- reimpositioh.of. the pfenalty’beeu moved forin E ‘the'.Oouhcil'of State; but associations have- been formed for the adminlstratlota'bf-Lynch la#. J,! .ln?Wtasr;’’ land, through its small size ivrid ■ compactness, an opportunity is especially afforded for thy favorite test er thb -abolition principle, which' is as follows*:—Let; all'those who are in favor’ of doing away'with 'the ’ punishment, of death 1 agree that if .they themselves should' be'mur-. dered the penally -is hot to be inflicted, but : as regards the rest Of the’ population’ that th’e'law should take ‘its bourse. J l ' Then" wd 1 ’ should see whether it acts as a deterrent or not; and also, if I am “not mistaken; some’ picking’ and choosing'as-to victims.’ ■’ • One fact, much dwelt on by the abolitionists; I at orioe’ murderers do not as a mle belong to the criminal classes ;but so-fari from/tbia 'prdvingthe case It seems to me’tO’-prove’tHe it is the very consciousness Of the''professional ruffian thatif'he 'adds mttrder’ to robbery he will be hunjf Which-makes hiin -pause ; the matter is always under’ his’consideration;' and he draws! the line at'the right point. “In Switzerland he now hodohger sees-the 1 necessity 'of drawinglitUnyWhere. ' ‘‘-I The most roguish people can’ sometimes’be, very -fratlktwben’ nothing more is “to bo got out of anybody by-duplicity; 1 One of the chief actors- Ih/the GlasgOw-.Bahfc -catastrophe has sent us word from the place ; Of safety bo whichbe “has - withdrawn himself and his illgotten'gains, that’he is‘Sorry for What has occurred, hot.,so,far as he,waa . concerned .there was really no ’help'-fOr -it.! It Was - wrong" to deceive the pu]Uic, wrohg ■ to. take the 1 money, wrong to rhn Sway anddeave others to bear.’the brunt of the ‘offence which he! allows he ‘ has committed ■ in commpn with them ; but if he had remained at‘his’post' he’ would ndt.only; have ‘rub, the, risk, of a -criminal prosecution/ but he.wonld necessarily havobeen a poor man., “I can'stand "anything,” he naively observes, “but’poverty 1 .”“ ;■'!. •• ! l ., T ;!, One should : “always remember whom one is' talking l td'.;’" 'A \ Certain.constituency,- vacant the other day; was greatly, under the thumb of.' a neighboring ’ landowner, ' who 'is' 'of the Hebrew persuasion. Jones, who went down on iffiJs gentlef man, and the promise of hisyote and interest, but forfeited thoini botili through, hisincautious.

mesa ..of speech. . The present financial embarrassments are -all owing to the Jews, was; one of his public observations. It is true he remembered his position directly- the .words had passed his lip»i aiid added, with saspidous alacrity,' “ That;, is what. some people say, though nothing can be more ridiculous.’’ He flattered - himself he had recovered his lost ground, and indeed all went well till his departure. r : The great man with a contingent of his grown-up sons even accompanied him to the railway station;;' “My friend,” said Jones, as the' train began to move,’ “I thank you. I hope to always behave as a gentleman' and a Christian.” It was absolutely useless for him to dean outlof the carriage window aud'shout after them thathe didn't mean as a Christian, but only as a gentleman ; the mischief was done. ’ V- ■'

1 was told the other day of an Irish- editor, who through indulgence in patriotism, br other stimulant, over night, was unable to prepare the leading article for his newspaper'the next morning. He could - think of -nothing in the way of ideas, or even produce matter of any kind to fill hia space, -when suddenly hia eye fell upon a copy of The Times just come to baud. Ho snipped out a loader with his scissors, and sent it to press with this original exordium, “What does The Times mean by this?” , ; 1 Since Baron Grant’s comparative failure in commercial matters —and during the leisure moments he can spare from that study of the law, his;,announcement of his application to which caused such universal alarm—he is said to devote himself ,to science. The microphone was lately exhibited in his presence, and after . an'aatounding development of the vocal organs of a flea and other “small deer,”, the instruIrnent was placed on the baron’s chest. To the astonishment of the audience,-the still small ‘voice, of conscience was distinctly heard. Mr. Edison was at once communicated with, and Is said to have expressed his opinion that the -very highest hopes-he ; had entertained of his invention have beeu-more than realised.

! It may be worth the while of some of your readers (just one in 40,000, 1 believe) to mote that when you have three children presented to you at a birth, yOu had better give information to the, proper authority-—which is of course , her Majesty—at once. For if any portion of. that threefold blessing is withdrawn—that is, if one of the. infants deceases —the Queen’s bounty dwindles in proportion. The money it seems (by a recent case ati Birmingham) is not given, as was generally supposed, as a reward of merit to the lady,' but as a solatium, - i j : It was under the influence of drink, I suppose, culminating •in madness, that the poor man in Liverpool cleared the streets last week with such marvellous rapidity. He had agun in his hand, with , which he “ potted ” at, -all comers,, and theagility,displayed by persons of all, weights and ages in cutting round the corners, is described as wholly. unlocked for; Fortunately, having missed several people, he exchanged hia weapon for, an axe, and sword, m order “ to make siccar,” as the , Scotch term it, when he fell a comparatively easy victim to the police. -• , : r t 1 f have a suspicion that we have,a good many Irish-.lawyars., Qhe.of them must have certainly draivii up that will of a certain iron- . master quoted in the Illustrated, London-Ntws last,week. . He. his. stock of peculiar ‘{white’rim” tb his widow “.absolutely.” ~Who but an Irishman could have put in that word! What would have.been the use of leaving it to her)’poor thing,’unless she was to drink it? Imagine any Irish gentleman, having, some whisky left to him “with remainder 'to his infant son.!” There would be child murder to a certainty.' ' ’ .■ .p r j I saw a randaln—-though I am hot sure of the spelling of it—in’ London streets .yesterday for the first time ; three horses-driyen in line. (Years ago I sa’iy twenty-eight'horses iii hand —by the bye’ going down to. Greenwich—but that was'“ ah equestrian and, dramatic sjpectacle ” from Astley’s.) The randan .was' a private vehicle; in which I. would not have trusted myself even in these hard times ,for a five pound note.. Its leader—the street being short—was round the’ corner of it; there being only two horses actually in sight reminded me therefore of a fahdeih, a, story concerning which has jiiat ‘ been ’ introduced into society, and is Wprth telling; (A rich country-reotof—living, however) hot one’hundred miles, as the.fine old phrase goes) frbm Phil' Mali^—had a fast,curate, faster even thah the rector liked, though he was one .of .the old school, and. not very partjctilar. • 'At tha curate’s' buntiqg, albeit it hap-pbned:-thore often than he liked, he Avinked good-naturedly';- but when it came to his ears that the curate had been seen driving tandem, he pricked them with no little annoyance. The young divine was sent for to the rectory, and suitably admonished. Instead of. submitting, to; reproof; however, this “ curate of the period” began to argue. “My dear sir,” he reasoned, “ what harm is there in' driving.- tandem ? You drive a pair of bays yourself—capital good ones they are, too—side by side ; what can it matter if I choose to put my'bays —-a very, inferior behind the other ?” “Young man,” answered his spiritual (and temporal) superior, “ there is no ’harm in it, : aa y«iu.« (observe I but. it; gives offence. These things, you may say, are all matters of taste, arid are of no real consequence yet consider, when I'oonclude.the service in church,:how!l hold my hands—l fold them thus, palm to palm suppose, I put them one’ before :tbe other, thus ”—and i he, took what little vulgar boys ' call' V,a- sight ’’—what would people, say ? ' So you "see there is an objection to .tandem. . . ■■ ;) f • ;; 'A very witty story reaches my ears concern,, ing the’musician. . T say “musician” because'not moving in musical circles myself (indeed it fa forbidden to, move ,in,them: or; evbn to speak), I don’t know whether .he plays: ;thS flute or the trombone ; but whatever it is helplays It .very well, '. At a private party the -other night,’ after his, eieeution, of, some, difficult piece, and in the reverential hush which ifollowed.it, a yoipe was .heard, to exclaim in. tones of‘critical authority, “It. would take a clever dog to lick that'beggar.” lean scarcely believe, that any "musical beingcould .have ■ said any thing so witty., ,It . was probably, said by | some outsider .'.(let us ; hope, a .literary ■person) who had goueitb the, party- on purpose to say.it.. ' ■