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New Zealand Times, Volume XXX, Issue 4541, 9 October 1875, Page 3

Tatne says : " Fon/ varieties in society; lovers, the ambitious, observers.and fools. The fools are the happiest " "ISH.der some Jcdderjiere for me!" inqitired a German at the general delivery window of the post office on Saturday. "No, none here," was the reply. "Vhell, dot is queer," he continued, getting his head into the window; •" my, neighbor gets sometimes dree letters in one day, und I get none. I bayes more daxes as he does, und I hat never got oho ledder yet. How comes dose;dingsi"— Detroit Free Press. As an old citizen was nailing a "To Bent" card on a vacant house, a pedestrian halted and remarked that "howze" was not the right way to spell "house." i "How long have you lived in Detroit ?" asked the old citizen, scowling savagely. " Fifteen years," was the reply.; "Well, ;I've lived here for thirty," continued the old man, "and I guess I know how to spell as well as you'do."— Detroit Free Press. A gentleman in want of a housekeeper recently tried an odd experiment. He advertised on Monday for a lady of education and elegant manners, qualified to act as a companion as well as housekeeper, and was overwhelmed with replies. The only requirement in the advertisement of Wednesday was that the lady should bo rjlain in features and a good housekeeper, but not a solitary applicant appeared to answer that appeal— New York Era. " That carpet," said a dealer to an old farmer the other day. " that carpet is ono dollar thirty-ftvo per yard ; but, seoing it's you, you can have it for one dollar twenty." While he was cutting it off, the farmer proudly said to his wife : "I never met him beforo, but you see he takes me for some big man. Now then, Mariar, see what 'tis to have a husband who looks smartish." Floriline I—Fob the Teeth and Breath.—A few drops of the liquid " Floriline," sprinklod on a net tooth-brush, produce a pleasant lather, which thoroughly cleanses the teeth from all parasites or impurities, hardens the gums, prevents tartar, stops decay, gives to the teeth a peculiarly pearlywhiteness, and a delightful fragrance to the breath. It removes all unpleasant odour arising from decayed teeth er tobacco smoke. "The Fragrant Floriline," being composed' in part of Honey and sweet herbs, is delicious to the taste, and the greatest toilet discovery of the age. Sold everywhere at 2s. 6d. Propared by Henry C. Gallup, 493 Oxford-street, Lbndon.—[Advt.] Advice to Mothers !—Are you broken in your rest by a Bick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow's Sooriirsa Syrup. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly harmless and pleasant to taste, It produces natural, quiet sleep, by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes "as bright as a button." It soothes the child, it softens the gums, allays all palri, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Sold everywhere at Is. lid. per bottle. Manufactory 403 Oxford-streot, London.—[Advt. Oxygen is Life.—Dr. Brioht's Vhoßmiodyne. Multitudes of peoplo are hopelessly suffering from debility, nervous and liver complaints, depression of spirits, failure of memory, lassitude, want of power, &c, whoso .caseß admit of a permanent cure by the new remedy, Phosphodyno (Ozonio Oxygon), which at once allays all irritation and excitement, imparts new energy and life to the enfeebled constitution, and rapidly cures every stage of those distressing maladies, Sold, by all chemists. Caution.—The largo and in creasing demand for Dr. Bright's Phosphodyno has led to several imitations under somewhat similar names; purchasers of this Medicine Bhonld therefore bo careful to observe that each case bears the Government Stamp, with the words " Dr. Bright's Phosphodyno," engraved thereon, and that the Bame words are also blown in the bottle. Agonts for New Zealand: Kempthorne, Prosser, and Co., Dunedin and Auckland