MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Spectator and Cook's Strait Guardian, Volume V, Issue 388, 21 April 1849, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

ANation of Travellers. — The number of passengers, according to the official return recently published, who have tpvelled by railway during the half year ending on the 30th of June last, amounted to 26,330,492 — which is just about the population of England,-Scot-land, and Ireland — and some idea may be formed of the tide of human beings who have passed over the country, a"s Mr. Locke says, " by means of two parallel pieces of iron," when we reflect that the official numbers actually represent the transmission of every man, woman, and child, in the United Kingdom, a certain distance, within the short period of six months, at a speed previously unattainable, and with a reduction of danger, considering the mass of human beings thus transferred, almost infinitesimal. " The Reader" in a Printing-office. — In a printing establishment, " the reader" is almost the' only individual whose occupation is sedentary ; indeed, the galley slave can scarcely be more closely bound to his oar than is a reader to a stool. On entering his cell his very attitude is a striking and most graphic picture of earnest attention. It is evident, from its outline, that the whole power oF his mind is concentrated iv a focus upon the page before him, and. as in midnight the lamps of the mail, which illuminate a small portion of the road, seem to increase the pitchy darkness which, in every other direction prevails, so does the undivided attention of the reader to his subject evidently abstract his thoughts from all other considerations. An urchin stands by, reading to the reader from the copy — furnishing him, in fact, with an additional pair of eyes ; and the shortest way to attract his notice is to stop his boy ; for, no sooner does the stream of the child's voice cease to flow, than the machinery of the man's mind ceases to work : something has evidently gone wrong ! he accordingly at once , raises his weary head ; and a slight sigh, with one passage of the hand across his brow, is generally sufficient to enable him to receive the intruder with mildness and attention. Although the general interest of literature, as well as the character of the art of printing, depends on the grammatical accuracy and typographical correctness of " the reader," yet from the cold-hearted public he receives punishment, but no reward. The slightest oversight is declared to be an eiror ; while, on the other hand, if by his unremitting application no fault can be detected, he has nothing to expect from mankind but to escape and live unceusured. Poor Goldsmith lurked a reader in Samuel Richardson's office for many a hungry day in the early part of his life. — Quarterly Review. Law of Gardens. — Some parties, when leaving a place, finding they could not remove the trees and shrubs, have them cut down ; but they were actionable, for the law prohibits waste with any malevolent intention. The decision given in the case of Buckland v. Butterfield establishes this point : for " a tenant is liable to pay for the waste, if be cuts down or destroys," &c. And it has also been decided by Lord Denman, Mr. Justice Littledale, and Mr. Justice Parke, that a tenant could -not remove a border of box, planted in the garden by himself ; but that it belonged to the landlord, in the absence of any agreement to the contrary. In the course of the argument, the counsel for the tenant asked, "'Could not the tenant remove flowers which he had, planted in the ground ?" Mr. Justice Littledale instantly said " No." We think all our floricultural readers will agree with us, thatif this is the law (which it undoubtedly is) the -sooner the law of tenantright is altered the better. — The Midland Florist. The Bottle, — The Man in the Moon, in the course of his observations on human character, has remarked, that of all his acquaintances who are at all in the habit of getting what vulgar people-call " boozy," there is not one who does not offer some admirable excuse for ao Jeing. Struck with the singularity of this fact, the Man in- the Moon has instituted a Commission of Inquiry into the matter, the result of which he begs to lay before his readers — Mr, A. drinks because his doctor has recommended him to take a little. Mr. B. because his doctor has ordered him not, and he hates such quackery. Mr. C. just takes a drop because he's wet. Mr. D. drinks because he's dry. Mr. E. because he feels something rising in his stomach. Mr. F. because

he feels a kind of sinking in his stomach. Mr. G. because he's going to see his friend off to Australia. Mr. H. because he's got a friend come home from America. Mr. I. because he's so hot. Mr. K. because he's so cold. Mr. L. because he's got a pain in his head. Mr. M. because he's got a pain in his side. Mr. N. because he's got a pain in his back. Mr. O. because he's got a pain in his chest. Mr. P. because he's got a pain all over him. Mr. Q. because he feels light and happy. Mr. R. because he feels heavy and miserable. Mr. S. because he's married. Mr. T. because he isn't. Mr. V. because he likes to see his friends round him. Mr. W. because he's got no friends, and enjoys a glass to himself. Mr. X. because his uncle has left him a legacy. Mr. Y. because his aunt cut him off with a shilling. Mr. Z. [We should be happy to inform our readers what Mr. Z.s reasons are for drinking, but on putting the questiou to him he was found too druuk to answer.] Glass in Dairies. — The attention of dairists has of late been pretty much called to the advantages of glass as a non-conductor of electricity, in the preservation of milk in glass pans. It was only a short time since we were shown a glass bottle full of milk that had been preserved in India and China, and when drawn after 18 months' preservation, was not only found to be perfectly sweet, but to contain in a solid and cohesive state, a small quantity of excellent butter ; while the milk preserved in a tin case, during the same voyage, had gone to acid. It now appears that glass milk pans produce almost equally remarkable results 5 and from an analysis of the cream which was thrown up, it appears that the difference is in favour of the glass as compared with the wooden or Wedgware pan, by at least ten per cent. A Fable for the Day. — A correspondent of the Times relates the following fable : — One day a traveller met the Plague going into Cairo, and accosted it thus: — " For what purpose are you entering Cairo ?" — " To kill three thousand people." Some time after the same traveller met the Plague again, and said, " But you killed thirty thousand ?" " Nay," the Plague replied, " I killed but three thousand ; Fear did the rest." A French Placeman's Revenge. — A spinster lady, applying for hei passport, and disposed to be facetious, remarks aloud to her companion, that the functionary before them reminded her of the apothecary in " Romeo and Juliet." This observation, if apt, is in this respect inopportune, that it is perfectly understood by the employ^, who not only has studied the English language, but being a zealous parlizan of the romantic (as distinguished from the classic) drama, is deeply read in Shakspeare, and feels in nowise flattered by the comparison the fair stranger has instituted. But the means of retribution are in his hands, in the shape of a pen and a printed form, which, after polite inquiries as to the lady's name, age, destination, &c, he proceeds to fill up until he comes to the signalement, or personal description — often considerably left blank in a female's passport. Here in characters as dark as * Guyot's encre de la petite vertu,' could make them, he inscribes his revenge. To the horror of the lady who had been so satirical on the outraged employ*?, she found, when the documeut was handed to her, that he had thus depicted her : — Hair, false; forehead, low; eyebrows, dyed; eyes, small, greenish ; nose, flat, (nizepatej ; and complexion tanned (teint busanej. Her age, which had been set down as she had given it, at thirty-five years, was accompanied by the remark "looks fifty-three." And worse than all, this libel, which the victim was bound herself to exhibit throughout France — like all libels (at least according to the view taken by the British law of these matters) was heightened in malignity by the fact that its truth was undeniable. — Sketches of France and England. Singular Anecdote. — Several years ago, a charity sermon was preached in a Dissenting Chapel, in the West of England. When the preacher ascended the pulpit, he thus addressed his hearers:— "My brethren, before proceeding to the duties of this evening, allow me to relate a short anecdote. Many years have elapsed since I was last within the walls of this house. Upon that evening among the hearers came three men, with the intention of not only scoffing at the minister, but with their pockets filled with stones, for the purpose of assaulting him. After he had spoken a few sentences, one said, " D m him, let us be at him now ;" but the second I replied, " No, stop till we heat what he makes of this point." The minister went on, when the second said, " We've heard enough now — throw !" but the third interfered, saying, " He's not so foolish as I expected — let us hear him out." Now, mark me, my brethren — of these three men, one was executed three months ago at Newgate for forgery-— the second at this moment lies under the sentence of death in the gaol of this city for murder — I the other (continued the minister with great

emotion) — the third, through the infinite goodness of God, is even now about to address you listen to him. Where " Ignorance is Bliss.' —A couple very well known in Paris are at present arranging terras of separation, to avoid the scandal of a judicial divorce. A friend had been employed by the husband to negotiate the matter. The latest mission was in reference to a valuable ring, given to the husband by one of the Sovereigns of Europe. For this he would make a certain much desired concession. The friend made the demand, "What!" said the indignant wife, "do you venture to charge yourself with such a mission to me ? Can you believe that I can tear myself from a gift which alone recalls to me the days when my husband loved me ? No : this ring is my souvenir of happiness departed. 'Tis all — (and here she wept) — that I now possess of a once fond husband." The friend insisted — the lady supplicated — grew obstinate — graw desperate — threatened to submit to a public divorce as a lesser evil than parting with this cherished ring, and at last j confessed that — she had sold it six months before ! What an Idea !— We see a new work, advertised under the honoured name of S. T. Coleridge, entitled "The Idea of Life." Now, we want to know which Idea of Life this is ! There are so many Ideas of Life ! There is the Politician's Idea of Life— a good cry, a quiet constituency, a friendly newspaper, and a permanent place. There is the Young Lady's Idea of Life — pleasant balls, eligible offers, a good settlement, a place in the Morning Post, and a " fashionable circle" to move in. There is the Man About Town's Idea of Life — a dog-cart, a cab, and -a park hack, the entrie of the coulisses, tick at a tailor's, a good " tap" of Havannahs, the right club, and a bowing acquaintance with everybody. There is the Gent's Idea of Life, a vernacular version of the last — a seat on a drag to Epsom, a lark with the " gals" at the Casino, a "stunning" cheker, Greenwich Fair regularly, a latch-key, and a good-natured mother, to stand between her boy -and the governor, and " tip" now and then. There is the Actor's Idea of Life, in which the great business of the world is Green-room squabbles, and its great pleasure assisting in actors' triumphs. There is the Servant-girl's Idea of Life — one long day out with the " journeyman." There is the Schoolboy's Idea of Life— no lessons and free access to an inexhaustible cake shop. There is the Pauper's Idea of Life — dreary. There is the Labourer's Idea of Life— blank. The Clergyman's Idea of Life— decorous. The Attorney's Idea of Life— shrewd. The Doctor's Idea of Life— deadly. And there is our Idea of Life, which takes in all these. And, no doubt, S. T. Coleridge's takes in ours. And, no doubt, somebody takes in his. Good Gracious ! The Idea of Life ! There must be as many as there are beings to form them. We havn't an idea how many ideas there may be on the subject. The idea book — the idea is perfectly ridiculous. — Punch.